Parents on Trial

One of the hardest experiences parents can face is when their child is arrested, goes to trial, or goes to prison. Arrest and prison are highly stigmatized in our society, and few parents are prepared to face this situation. Yet as the prison system grows, as more and more activities are criminalized, and as the so-called War on Terror is used increasingly to persecute political activities, an ever greater number of parents will have to deal with the police knocking on their door, with the emotional and financial stress of trial, with visits through a glass wall.

For people who are themselves facing trial and imprisonment, dealing with anxiety, fear, disapproval, or misunderstandings on the part of their parents makes a difficult situation even more stressful. To have their parents' understanding and support, if not their agreement and sympathy on the issues, means facing the entire legal and judicial process with more strength and peace of mind.

Parents on Trial is a new resource run by parents of anti-authoritarians who have been arrested, deported, forced to go through trial, put on probation, or imprisoned. They've had these experiences and learned from them, and now they want to share them in order to support other parents who are going through the process now. The way it works is simple. Someone who is facing the repressive violence of the criminal justice system, or their parent, writes to Parents on Trial, and one or more parents respond, offering a pen pal relationship, listening, sharing their own stories and advice, and offering emotional support.

People quickly learn when faced with repression that arrest, trial, and imprisonment are forms of collective punishment against those who resist. The state does not simply punish an individual for their political beliefs or struggles, but the person's entire family and circle of friends as well. Collective responses and mutual support will facilitate our coming through these hardships in a healthy way. Parents on Trial is another small step toward building a real, lasting, and effective culture of resistance.

If you are a parent who would like to share your experiences and participate in this group, or if you would like to contact or be supported by this group, email ParentsOnTrial [at] gmail [dot] com.

so a new non-profit opens up

so a new non-profit opens up because a parent failed and we should all cry and basically give them a handout to go away?

I hope a meteorite hits you.

I hope a meteorite hits you.

And it's messy.

i like meteorites. smite on

i like meteorites. smite on

this is fairly brilliant. i

this is fairly brilliant. i hope this stays functional for as long as necessary.

second -Squee

second

-Squee

this is a great idea.

this is a great idea.

Yes we all have parents. And

Yes we all have parents. And we seem to be really good at getting ourselves arrested.
But, really? I'd assume it's important to understand why we understand ourselves in some sort of position antagonistic to our present world, to various institutions that impede our lives from so many fulfilling common projects and relationships as well as inforces such alienation and seperation.
I can guarantee the family is one of closest lived experiences of repression felt from such an early age, that practically everyone can relate to.
Why encourage the relationship of owner and creator, or even elder in such circles?
A problem that this project is clearly trying to scratch at isnt one repression, but of botched activist legal defense strategy.
Lets try and understand the influence parents have on our comrades who are facing state repression. Almost worse than a public defender is a parent who has to much control already in the lives of their children, with threats of cooperation with the feds, or of the denying of all monetary support. Why are people devoting such energy to 'working over' this relationship that is certainly not equal, not in the eyes of most parents, and the law, to convince that our co-defendants and comrades are 'innocent'? Isnt it easy to say that the concept of 'innocence' is abstract at best, and delusional and elitist at worst?
In a world where we are seeing our comrades killed and sent away for upwards of twenty years in this country and others, where we constantly see networks and scenes become broken and destroyed from fucked up relationships, rape, emotional neglect, and state intervention. Where all of these things just listed are the biggest reasons why we are so weak, how the state can destroy us so easily, why cant there be a bigger devotion to taking care of ourselves? why cant activists stop thinking about the next summit or of delusions of saving the next grove of trees, or of holding the politicians and bankers 'responsible' for just one moment to understand how to live in this fucked up world together?
How can we subvert the family? State repression? Patriarchy? Hierarchy?
is this a step?
is it really?
How do we create such strong friendships that when either parents threaten to turn snitch or threaten us with reformatory if where to young to be legally emanicpated, or to drain the well of monetary support, or whatever, that we can tell them to fuck off. That we have developed our own ways of supporting eachother. That there isnt this division of affective care and value in the ghetto of the family anymore. That they can either get fucked, and die lonely lives or start making changes in their own repressive-familial ways, so they can cease to be 'parents' and start to become friends, to become our comrades as well.

the best way to get parents

the best way to get parents on your side is to keep smashing windows, take vacations to other neighborhoods to vanadalize the community, and always back up your belief system as an amarchist by pleading guilty to the judge assigned to your case.

I'm personally not

I'm personally not interested in being part of a movement of spoiled assholes who reject the families that raised them by default. This is the reason that anarchism will never be relevant: It's adherents secede from their communities and families to congregate in places where they never have to argue with or convince anyone to do anything.

*ALERT* Politician in

*ALERT* Politician in training above *ALERT*

What? o_O (I'm not the

What? o_O

(I'm not the "politician in training" you reference above, I'm just totally confused about your logic)

ditto. I mean I get it.

ditto.
I mean I get it. Some people don't really get along well with their families. But in the end, family ties are the strongest, most important bonds we have.

I heard a quote once, it said something to the effect of "Unconditional love doesn't exist between adults." I think I can agree with that. (Most) parents and children will go to hell and back for one other. Even though they may nag, disapprove and fuck up a lot themselves. One of the hardest lessons you'll ever learn as an adult is that your parents are just as flawed and human as you are.

Tangential here but, anyone ever notice how it's usually white people who hate their parents? I never encountered so many people who disrespected, loathed, and purposely hurt their own families until I hung out w/ white kids, particularly anarchists/punks (and these were NOT abusive, fucked up families, torn asunder by poverty or violence, just regular moms and dads bending over backwards trying to do their best raising ungrateful spoiled kids). Srsly what's up with that?

Transferring and projecting

Transferring and projecting resentiment usually, with those that have cyclically themselves had no formative autonomous Self awareness nurturing and caring, is the result. Not to say that a resentiment to the state is a projection of subjective dysfunction, it is more a matter of "Don't fuck with me". I have many problems myself with this English language, I am almost at the stage of mastering it, maybe!? Anyway, the degree that the spoiled kid vents his anger has nothing to do with socio/economic status, whether it be billionare's child or prole's child, if there is not the love and hugging and communication, the child has become a hermit in anti-love, and if the uncaring continues, the bitterness and anti-love becomes a social hatred, a socio-path is created by the culture that created the dysfunctional parents, those that are taxed and stressed by the landlord and employer, or the impersonal nature of the exploitive capitalist society that de-evaluates human worth, in its manipulative endevour to create a vacuum of identity unless one adopt the "Persona" of an Identity cliche, and thus be cared for, nurtured by, hugged by, employed by, their new Identity replicant substitute family, because the biological family had failed.! Don't you know this basic Psych 1? Sorry, your post was still OK.
Gunter

Aint that some

Aint that some essentialising shit. who the fuck are you! Why are you spewing such statistical garbage like a fucking talkshow host?
Why are family ties the most important bonds we have? Does marriage come in on a close second for you too? whatever.

"Does marriage come in on a

"Does marriage come in on a close second for you too?"
Marriage and widowness really fucked my universe! I cannot help but be myself, I hope you have the compassion to imagine the pain I live with every day.

My family is most definitely

My family is most definitely NOT the strongest bond that I have, and it's the same for nearly half the people I know. Most of us get kicked out of our families houses, have really fucked up things yelled at us, receive no support at all other than an awkward family dinner and whatever snacks they have in their cabinets. Fuck all y'all.

That was a weird comment to

That was a weird comment to make? Yeah, family bonds have primary shaping influences on the development of the personality... but they are only important in the sense of their severe affective influence - which psychologists have been noting for a hundred years almost is usually a terrible, neurosis inducing, body armor building, fucked up situation. Most people spend the second half of their lives just dealing with their "family bonds". It's not like all parents are bad but for the most part, the social dynamics of our American, double-income earning, often religious family context does not produce a healthy psyche. Erich Fromm would school you on that in a second.

I get along with my folks but they are for sure NOT model beings for me.

-Squee

Maybe you have a small

Maybe you have a small resource for quotes on family dynamics? In the end, parents die and siblings reunite to pay for the burrial and a good plot. Love, let alone unconditional love, is not a common family experience - the common experience is extremely conditional "loving" masked by a duty-bound notion of love. Patriarchy and dysfunctional parental relationships are common and crappy enough. Family feuds that cause huge splits in "bonds" of the extended family are common. Most deep psychological bonding problems stem from the relationship problems formed in the nuclear family unit. The inability to deeply bond as adults is directly related to dysfunction in family bonds. All of this is why I think the idea presented in this article is good... The extremely complicated event of ttrauma in the family (one going to prison, loss, death) is really important to heed but not because the family is some ideal dynamic to preserve in it's usually dysfunctional state. Because the opposite, to theraputically deal with the dysfunction already there and prevent it from intensifying the trauma for all members. And for political reasons.

-Squee

It never ends, the

It never ends, the institution that is family, its paramountal dominance even at a dysfunctional state, its power to delineate identity, its sorrows when becoming widowed and losing a loved one, we move on, but have lost a part of ourselves that formed a previous union of purpose. I hope my english suffices to explain?! Is not the greatest revolution the one that occurs within our own hearts, when we feal the pressure in our chests and the lump in our throats, this is the physiological revolt we must embrace then revert?! The external reality is only a projection of our collective wills, as is the universe, if we wish we could leave it in a mythical 2-dimential plane, so easy, so ignorant, so un-anarchistic! The attraction to nihilsm comes when all else has burnt itself out, when one has seen the universe for what it is, that we are infinitesimal nobodies whos only claim to fame is to live by the do good and be good non-doctrine on a daily basis! By this awareness we survive, the planet survives, and politics dissolves, eventually!
Gunter

this photo is being used

this photo is being used without permission. The name of the person is still attached to the file name (China). This is a photo of her and her daughter but they have nothing to do with this particular story though she is an activist and writes about mother/child issues-please see http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=13540 . There's a few sites out there that allow free use of their images. I use this one: http://www.sxc.hu/

This isn't some personal ass

This isn't some personal ass family album photo. It is published and owned by Baltimore City Paper. Who the fuck cares if their property, the image, is used without their permission?

Take their shit, use their shit
- Crudo (RIP)

Take their shit... quote by

Take their shit... quote by crudo (rip)

comment by anon

well- its *my* picture (as

well- its *my* picture (as in a picture of me and my daughter) and it is confusing when people ask me stuff thinking this is my project and its not my project; I hadn't heard of it before. No one ever contacted me or asked me anything. why is my photo on it? not like its some awesome photo or something. but whatever. take my shit, use my shit.

p.s. my friend wrote that comment and yes I would rather my photo not be up here and asked for it to be taken down, but seriously I don't care that much, so oh well. xo china

Since I got into activities

Since I got into activities that involved a risk of arrest or state investigation I have had to go through the process of explaining what would keep me safe to my parents alone. These conversations were never easy.

"Hey mom, I just wanted you and dad to know the FBI have been knocking on doors lately fishing for information about people I know. They might show up at your house. Remember what I told you, "I, respectfully, have no comment to make to you Officer. Here is the phone number of a lawyer you can contact if you if have any questions."

"Remember mom, I'm an anarchist currently facing a felony trial, I am innocent and always have been innocent, the thought of my guilt is unfathomable, and be sure that when you are talking to friends and family, especially over the telephones, that you do not give any impression otherwise."

"Part of our defense strategy is to not interact with the media, mom. Be sure that when the press calls and ask about me or my case to give no comment, it's the strategy my lawyer and I are using to help win our case."

It would have been great to have other parents verify and confirm and help my folks really internalize what it means to 'support me'. Which is to give the State no assistance in locking the cell door.

Good luck with the project, might I recommend a '101' pamphlet with the basics hosted on the front page of a Parents on Trial website.

That's an excellent

That's an excellent suggestion, re the 101 pamphlet. FOr now, the "site" is a gmail address with the draft folder functioning as archives, etc. which is where i'll put the 101 pamphlet when i get a round tuit...

Thanks!

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