Serial 2, Episode 4: Party Time

Reader beware, you choose the scare! This is the fourth episode of a new serial story (episode one) (episode two) (episode three).

Help continue the story by filling in the blanks. We may choose from the answers provided!

There’s no way out of this - you’re barely halfway out the window before the door bursts open and someone in uniform storms in, gun drawn.

“It’s over scumbag, we know everything! Hands up!”

“Oh no no no, it wasn’t me, I…” Stammering through your panic, you blink through the tears in your eyes and see that the gun is actually 1. __________ (something that looks like a gun but isn’t)? “No fucking way.”

Your ex-roommate Eyepatch tosses the “gun” at you, then pulls you back into the room. “Happy Halloween 2. __________ (mildly derogatory nickname), where’s your costume? Don’t wanna be late to the party.”

“Party?”

“We’re gonna crash the DSA Halloween party and have a prolle stroll of our own!”

“But I wasn’t, I’ve gotta-” Before you can get the words out she’s pushing you out the door. There’s a pile of costumes in the common room of your unit from an earlier party and you grab the first one you find. You’re going as 3.___________ (costume).

Eyepatch is an ex-roommate for a reason - loud, 4. __________ (negative character trait), aggro - in other words, perfect for what you’re being dragged into. By the time you reach the door of the 5. __________ (moderately priced chain restaurant) that the DSA has rented for the evening she’s already raring for a fight.

She kicks the door open and you’re greeted with the sound of 6. __________ (previously trendy TikTok song) and some fresh-faced youths dressed as 7.__________ (costume DSA members would wear) shuffling awkwardly in the middle of the dining area. Tossing the speaker into the punch bowl, she yells at the top of her lungs:

“Alright 8.__________ (very derogatory term), let’s get the real party started. Who’s up for a non-permitted march?”

Silence. A zombie wearing a tie - is this their leader or a manager? - attempts to intervene and is assaulted verbally, then physically, before backing down. A few cautious hands go up - some of which appear to be from random patrons at the bar. Then a few more, less cautious. Eyepatch says nothing to them, but when she strides through the front door, they follow. You hurry along behind. A drunk bro outside a nearby tavern barely has time to insult your costume before Eyepatch knocks the beer from his hand and shoves him into a sign that promises “American food with a pinch of the South.” The strolle has begun.

Patio chairs go through frat house windows. Pumpkins rain down on passersby, the hostile and the innocent alike. Random, brutal violence that you find both terrifying and exhilarating. You’re inspired - you nudge a garbage can into the street. A 9. ____________ (disgusting candy) you throw connects with the head of a child dressed as Kanye West. You’re doing it, you’re actually doing the thing!

You only have a few minutes to enjoy your jouissance before you hear sirens - uh oh, it’s the real police! DSA members are scattering, frat bros are ducking for cover, but there’s still a contingent of people fucking shit up at a nearby 10. ____________ (target of attack). There’s a mist forming - is it smoke? Teargas? You’re starting to panic.

What do you do now?

a) Stick together, keep the bloc tight! This jouissance can last forever! Join the crew in their attack.
b) Eyepatch will know what to do - wade through this mess to find her.
c) You’re in over your head - get out of there any way you can!

There are 12 Comments

1. a large vape box mod
2. radlib
3. sheet ghost
4. quarrelsome
5. a rAdiCaL bookstore and cafe
6. bbno$ - nursery
7. guillotine
8. liberals
9. candy corn, hmm seems weird to throw a single piece, pelted with a handful?
10. army recruitment office/rotc
b) Eyepatch will know what to do - wade through this mess to find her. (yo don’t leave ur buddy behind)

1. a smartphone with a bulky hard case cover
2. loser
3. the joker
4. pushy
5. Chuck E Cheese's
6. Doja Cat - Say So
7. Rosa Luxemburg
8. Chomkyists
9. licorice
10. parking lot (targeting the vehicles of commuters)
a) Stick together, keep the bloc tight! This jouissance can last forever! Join the crew in their attack.

1. banana
2. comrade
3. V for Vendetta
4. gregarious
5. taco food truck with a few tables
6. Louis Theroux - Jiggle Jiggle
7. Marx
8. demsuccs
9. a large jawbreaker
10. an art gallery
c) You’re in over your head - get out of there any way you can!

1. dildo

2. Stinky

3. a Teletubbie

4. no boundaries

5. Sweet Tomatoes

6. (the worst one)

7. zombie marx

8. dem-soc-es

9. circus peanuts

10. city hall

b. find eyepatch.....

1. stapler gun
2. couch potato
3. Sasquatch
4. flirty
5. Double R Diner
6. Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?
7. Agent Cooper
8. peace police
9. pumpkin pie
10. lumber mill
b) Eyepatch will know what to do - wade through this mess to find her.

1. a flute
2. dingbat
3. Astolfo
4. dramatic
5. Air BnB
6. $NOT & Flo Milli – Mean
7. AOC’s “Tax the rich” dress (maybe it’s Dizzy the Radlib wearing it)
8. bootlickers
9. twinkies
10. confederate statue
b) Eyepatch will know what to do - wade through this mess to find her.

1. a flashlight
2. activist
3. Unabomber
4. post-lefty
5. Waffle House
6. Ashnikko - STUPID Feat. Yung Baby Tate
7. Žižek
8. politicians
9. jelly beans
10. midterm ballots
c) You’re in over your head - get out of there any way you can! (“stupid Eyelash think that I need ‘em”)

1. penny whistle
2. coward
3. chicken suit
4. militant vegan
5. a Buffalo Wings place
6. Rosalía - Chicken Teriyaki
7. Handmaid’s Tale
8. carnies
9. buffalo wings
10. the wings place itself
c) You’re in over your head - get out of there any way you can!

1. a ring camera?! (where she rip that out from?!)
2. law-abiding citizen
3. a furry costume
4. obstreperous
5. weed dispensary
6. Lil Yachty - Poland
7. Cheech & Chong
8. yuppies
9. purple lean (two cups, yeet!)
10. the passerby
a) Stick together, keep the bloc tight! This jouissance can last forever! Join the crew in their attack.

1. nah it was really a gun!!!
2. buzzkill
3. some Mardi Gras beads and a bikini
4. she’s fucking crazy!!! she’ll straight up pull a gun at your face for a joke!!!
5. Café du Monde
6. Giveon - Heartbreak Anniversary
7. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change
8. screeching technocrats
9. beignet
10. Central Business District
c) You’re in over your head - get out of there any way you can!

1. corn cob
2. fart brain
3. traffic cone
4. overly familiar
5. olive garden
6. in my mouth
7. the spectre of communism
8. tenderqueers
9. werthers original
10. parking garage
B

1. a rolled up job application
2. lazy bum
3. a good hire
4. responsible adult
5. health food place
6. classical music
7. Minions wearing tuxedo
8. underachievers
9. Turkish delights
10. accounting firm
c) You’re in over your head - get out of there any way you can and fill your job application.

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