Lawrence Anarchist Bookfair Reportback

So there were like 10 tables of zine distro. And they were okay warzone, civ fucks that kinda thing. But omg there were some magnificent zines of perfection at the KC food not bombs table. See everyone was a fuckin nerd and we're reading shit and all the zines had stuff to read. And I hate reading boooorings.

But omg at KC food not bombs there was a coloring books zine with pictures and crayons which is way more fun that reading zines. I think a lot of people were confused. Bookfairs are for fights, gay sex, flipping tables, looking at pictures, petty drama, playing with crayons and putting shit on basketball courts. Not reading. I was very disappointed bc many people were confused and were not fighting or doing drama and were just reading zines and talking about them. Nerds. Thankfully I could play with crayons and didn't have to read.

But God bless jesus there were workshops to save me from all the nerds reading! First off there was a demonic ritual where the person started speaking backwards and we all started chanting a bunch. It was cool I felt like I got a big magical powerup. Which excited me bc that's way more fun and though I give this workshop a 3/5 because I did have to read the magic chant. Also I wish the speaker could be a little more illiterate. They spoke well enough I felt kinda educated which is a little too close to school for my liking.

Then I went and ate lots and lots of food. And another workshop happened. Tho in that time I accidentally got a zine tho thankfully I had the will to not read it. Now this one speaker had a lot of big words and had no Magick chants and there were no crayons to color with. But after a while my ears perked up the author mentioned the book Ishmael.

Omg I love gorillas so much and I like the funny gorilla book a lot too. So we talked about the gorilla books which is fun. Tho we ran out of time so I couldn't talk about gorillas more. 4/5

I then went downstairs and was extremely upset. I was having fun doing dishes and had to stop in the middle to go to the workshop. But a evil person did the dishes before me. I thought anarchists were supposed to not do dishes. So then I had to go back to the drudgery of talking about anarchy because someone just had to do the dishes.

Then after a while of talking to people which was kinda nice but not as nice as coloring. Someone seemed to become possess by some entity potentially Jesus and proclaims the next workshop would be very fun. So I went up and OMG it was something so amazing so incredible I can't explain it.

It was a funny gay clown and the workshop was so cool I don't have words to describe 5/5. It was so so so cool.

There were lots of cool people and many people had lots of cool conversations of made new friends which was nice. And that happened for some time. There was a bunch of live music planned. Tho I left early because I was tired from all the coloring, daydreaming about gorillas and eating I had done.

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Disclaimer I do not know how to use commas. Anews editors added commas and correct spelling of words I can't spell to slander my good character

Wait ignore me I'm actually wrong. Damn, I can't believe I actually used commas in my writing. Pretty fucked up

When reading I was thinking, "I would swear this is lettuce if it didn't have punctuation and complete sentences!"

All jokes aside, this is a wholly accurate description of what transpired.

Lettuce is correct. Can confirm. Was there. Very nerdy.

I was there, it's true there was a gay clown and also Cabbage came to food not bombs the following day.

It's funny to call me cabbage bc I have thought of going by cabbage instead bc I like cabbage a lot more. But switching names is confusing. Plus I'm kinda attached to lettuce due to longevity.

We contemptuous ones can't believe our venomous feral writings were consigned to the Forums yet THIS is what graces the pages of so-called "anarchist" news!

When you least expect it you will feel the poisoned claw dagger of vengeance for this insult. Until then we are shadows of darkness.

Did everyone who attended wear a Kn95 mask and show their up to date covid19 booster shot card to stand in solidarity with disabled trans Palestinian refugees?

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