An Illegalist Space Program In Four Parts

  • Posted on: 23 August 2015
  • By: Anonymous (not verified)

science-to learn
communism-to share
nihilism-to begin
anarchism-to be

1. This is the Planet Of Sadness. (Nihilism- To Begin Again, Always.)

Fuck Earth. Industrial capitalism has put shoes on all our feet, and now our toes are permanently fucked up. Look it up. I was born in a domesticated place, at the beginning of the end of American hegemony. I was all tuned up to give an honest try at revolution or liberation or whatever, and then Occupy collapsed into it's obvious conclusion. Prison support makes me want to shoot myself, because I can never do enough, I forget things, and I'm just not ready to die for people I haven't met yet. Primitivism is embarrassing. I lived with some people who only wore skins that they tanned, and stole bison meat from Whole Foods. It smelled, and little kids thought they were LARPing. The cops keep shooting people. Perhaps in response, people keep shooting themselves.

I live out of my truck. I am not trying to save the world. The world is constantly trying to save me. The priests of science want to give me pills. Patriarchy wants to get me laid. Racism wants to give me a nice new house in Nairobi, and capital wants to give me a job. It is funny to me that they have all failed. The Earth is covered in humans like ants, and they all drag their ideologies and stupid tribal wars around like trophies. People of every nationality and creed waste their breath trying to push the Earth this way or that way, trying to fake like there is some where to go. They have nothing to push off of, no leverage. Would you like to watch the last forests become toilet paper? Would you like to contact and destroy the last indigenous tribes, to tell them "I'm sorry, but we figured out how to turn pig farts and air into fertilizer, and things got out of hand. Here's some fried chicken and an eviction notice." I'm not trying to take over, save the world, and steal the bacon. I just want to build a new world somewhere else.

I bought a seven dollar microscope at GoodWill, and a 10X loop with lights on it that make me look like a mad scientist. I've made whiskey. I don't believe that rocket science is more difficult than insurrection. Let's get the fuck out of here as soon as possible. You'd be surprised to learn that hippie dippy shit like ecosystem management actually makes sense when you live in a built environment. Theoretically, at least, it makes a hell of alot more sense than what they do in the ISS. We can probably make it work.

Are you seriously gonna sit back and let fuckin Elon Musk turn Mars into a reality TV show? Earth is a tiny blue dot covered in troubles, and the endless wild universe isn't responding to state sponsored attempts to communicate. Perhaps aliens don't know what to say when we beam Kim Kardashian and I Love Lucy into their motherships. More importantly, space is SPACE. Distance between you and the cops. Distance between you and the church, the courts, the great failure that is Terran society and all of its stupid gravity. Instead of pounding the pud and waiting to die, why don't we get our shit together and make a break for it?

2. Learn To Direct Your Inner Napolean (Communism- To Share)

Space exploration seems to cost an incredible amount of money. However, anarchists have some very important advantages over government or corporate attempts to build a new Imperium. For one thing, what government does best is launder money. They pay incredible salaries to idiots just because some dipshit has a friend in the DoJ or whatever. The Apollo missions had the computational power of a student's calculater. It's really just alot of hard work. I'm teaching myself calculus, and hope to shoot an Ipod around the world sometime in the next couple years. You should join me. It'll be fun.

The other thing is that they really would love it if we left. They'll try to stop us for a little while, but then they'll get it in their head that THE ANARCHISTS ARE LEAVING, and we'll have all the funding we'll ever need. The Pinkertons have been praying for it since the 1890's. That is, if we need funding at all. Maybe we could just tell them we are leaving, and would you please just fuck off while we do our thing? Maybe we'll have to twist some elbows on that one. Eithor way, we start where we are.

Put down your beer, or crack a new one. Pick up a book about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and start creating lists of materials necessary to human life on Mars, on the Moon, or in orbit. It is indeed a very long list. There is alot to do. (A space program is the perfect front!)

Call your friends. Who knows how to weld? Who's got the internet connection? Who's got the keys to the biology department? Fuck mink. Liberate the electron microscopes. Who's grows weed? NASA did a study where they measured gas exchange and plant growth given a controlled amount of light, soil, and heat. They only studied corn, soy, wheat, potatoes, tomatoes, and lettuce. If you want kale and avocados up there, you'll have to divert a grow light or two and figure it out yourself.

Tor is great and all, but pirate radio is still using technology from the eighties. Where are the pirate cell towers? Where is the pirate internet? I heard some people in Germany want to launch satelites to give everybody free internet. Better them than google, right? Why don't anarchists build things that anarchists use? (Bicycles, vegetables, fireworks, X-Ray Spectrometers)

People recently released from prison need shit to do, a place to live, and a community that supports them as they deal with getting out. We can provide this kind of support by creating spaces that double as labs, storage units, or production facilities for everything from Stirling engines to vermicompost. By starting from nothing, and building up to a gigantic goal, we can direct our hopelessness into something that builds serious counter power in the process. A space program is an excuse to do anything. Who cares if we succeed? At least we blew up the shed, and feel like we learned something!

Do you feel me? This endless TV show sucks. We are steadily salting the only known soil in the universe. We are trapped here with billions of desperate lunatics and megalomaniacal sociopaths. You wanna save the Earth? Leave it. You wanna build a better world? Do it. But not in the shell of the old world. Not even in it's shadow. Space is the place, buddy.

Imagine a thousand asteroids hollowed out and squatted. Imagine a queer commune orbiting Uranus. Imagine a million bickering communes on Mars. Seed bombing the home planet with endangered species. An endless opportunity for failure and the occasional success. Imagine being able to talk without worrying who's listening. Imagine free housing, free food, and chickens learning to fly in zero gravity. Imagine the sky is a great big blue window and it's breaking. News paper boxes are falling from the sky and smashing to pieces in the street. We can make it happen. (A space program is an excuse to do anything!)

3. A Tight Rope Over The Void (Science- Figure it out your damn self.)

I love my mama. However, I live with my friends. If there are future generations of humans, they will probably have drifted even farther from the old tribalism, and less-old atomized family of our time. To them, we will be dumb artifacts of history, like all the black-and-white people in Charlie Chaplin movies. What do we owe to the future, if anything? What a stupid question! The future will take everything we have, and everything we have ever cared about will become nostalgia, then shit, then dust. You've no more choice in this than anybody else, so there's no excuse to go grieving about your loss. You didn't earn any of it in the first place. All we can do is avoid blowing up the spot for the little ones who come later on. Imagine their chubby little cheeks, crying out, "Oh, papa! Oh, mama! Why are you such fucking breeders? Why must I eke by on this paved rock? Why must I sell myself, my labor and my blood, to gain my daily bread?" For crying out loud, can we get out of here now? This whole place is a sleazy theater, and the show is over, and it's time to go.

Let's gather our things and leave, we've got better things to do then watch an empty stage. Anything would be better than this. (A space program is an excuse to do anything!)

Coming Soon: A Thorough Analysis Of Materials and Technologies Involved in The Production Of HSOF (High Standard Of Living) Extraterrestrial Habitats, Utilizing Current ISRU (In Situ Resource Utilization) Technologies And Disregard For International Copyright and Patent Laws



This rules.

Where's the fourth part?

Interesting, the one part of Octavia Butler's "Parable of the Sower" that I didn't really care for was the cult's obsession with a space program. But you've actually made a pretty good argument here and the next time I read that book I think it's going to be a fundamentally different experience.

Actually, I was gonna collect source material, and talk about how social factors are the primary obstacle to space exploration, rather than "scientific" difficulty. I mean, if we didn't need permits, wouldn't we be fucking with rockets? Where are my co-conspirators in this?

Check out the MarsOne feasability study:

Frei Funk, the Germans I mentioned, who are building a free internet:

And hackerspaces everywhere.

I'm sorry I rushed it. I wanted to throw it up as close as possible with some of the other articles I've seen on here, Dead Reckoning being one, and Science As Radicalism being the other. This essay might be received badly if terms weren't cleared up by those writings. I am working on a more logical essay, with flow charts. If it's not done by the first, don't buy a microscope.

in order to anarchoform mars, dont we first need all the anarchists to love each other??

I love you! It's a start!

"1 Humanity will never colonize Mars, never build moon bases, never rearrange the asteroids, never build a sphere around the sun.

2 There will never be faster-than-light travel. We will not roam across the galaxy. We will not escape our star.

3 Life is probably an entirely unexceptional phenomenon; the universe probably teems with it. We will never make contact. We will never fuck green-skinned alien babes.

4 The human race will live and die on this rock, and after we are gone something else will take our place. Maybe it already has, without our even noticing.

5 All this is good. This is a good thing."

wow, the power of empty assertions. This HAS to be a joke.

That is not a QWERTY typewriter! My suspension of disbelief has been broken. The fourth wall is down! The fourth wall is down! Someone fire the production manager!

...ok I gave it a while and now I'm making a comment about DVORAK. It's healthier and it is the space way.


Do you mean Antonin Dvorak, author of the New World Symphony, a copy of which was taken to the moon on the first human lunar landing, and which was influenced heavily by African and Native American musical traditions?

Or do you mean the keyboard?

Whats the deal with the hash tag?

*feels inner elbow sweating* Direct all questions to my lawyer. I don't talk to police.

Fuck rockets they can't push any sufficient power to get a bunch of dorks to Mars... THey're basically just space dildos subconsiously serving a renewal of the Patriachy agenda through a space agency run by Nazis (while they secretly enjoy their rather vaginal flying saucers that shoot like flies in the sky). Talk about some civilizational farce. Plus they're a fucking thousand years old technology sold out as "cutting edge" by scientific bureaucrats to swallow shitloads of big money to finance black programs nobody here will ever care about but probably SHOULD.

You got my two thumbs up my arse for bringing in some actual intelligent, nihilistic humor to a site, and an anarchist community, desperately in need for some.

Pass the dust, he thinks he's Bowie...

Whenever I'm hard up for the totally clownish, I go to and get my fill.

This reads like Ursula K Leguin on meth. 9/10 would read again

Let's recreate the worst excesses of militarist capitalist society, but with anarchist rhetoric and a cool i-dont-actually-care tone!

Do you actually have no critique at all of technology, or is this just hipster irony?

No. I don't have a critical view of technology. In fact i fuckin hate ants, and hope that humanity eventually eradicates these primary rivals through tool use. I think that attempts to be 'more in tune with the earth' are incredibly hypocritical and as potentially violent as any other fundamentalism superstition. Do you really want to kill off the billions of people who couldn't exist without plastic and artificial fertilizers? Or is this just hipster irony?

We live in the world. We don't own the world. Tools use you. All that jazz is just fine. Great. Wanna start a drum circle?

This is exchange is filled with ironies.
1. Primitivist criticisizing your lack of criticism of technology by communicating with you through comments on the internet.
2. You essentially call them a hippie with your drum circle comment but you are in fact proposing that we start a commune in space... you hippie!

Don't know if this post is in any way serious but here's some link about ananarchisty community in copenhagen

that makes awesome bikes

and some people building space rockets DIY 4 realz

Now an anarcho-capitalist ex-hippie commune? Not interested. There's tons upon tons of interesting squats in Europe, still. Christiania's just one of the oldest "wagenplatz". Go look for those fabulous huge parks in East Berlin, and the food and beer in Berlin is cheap like water.

ummmmmm.... what was capitalist about this? at least be accurate yo...

Said anarcho-capitalist. Because of the major drug-dealing activity realted to the biker gangs that crept in for decades, and developed like a cancer.

Are you from Copenhagen like me?
Did you talk to the dealers at all?
Do you know anything about this?

I'mnot a huge fan of christiania in all aspects or the drug trade in particular, but you can't just call others capitalists because they engage in money transactions, please. There are tons of things to critique about christiania and the gangs, but let's keep it on a higher level?

There are no levels. Dealing drugs to make money in order to amass capital for yourself and your gang IS capitalism. No need for a suit and a tie... But of course, I wouldn't have much an issue if the drugs are freely shared inside of Christiania and sold outside to finance a common treasury for the occupation and its operations.

Anywways no I haven't been there (all I was saying came from hearsay of people who've been there) and even with my experience of Euro autonomous squats I'm still interested to go spend some time there and make my opinion of it. The bike collective(s) appears to be rather exciting, and damn it must be a good place to find and make love.

You are a capitalist. At least by your standards of what it means to be a capitalist. Are you implying that it is somehow less capitalist to do work that's legal? Or to do illegal work that's less organized?... Anarchy needs more gangs, face it.

But thanks I'll consider moving my whimpsy ass to the local gang of Confederate Flag biker brutes who love to butt-snap women around, to start anarchist queer insurgent cell with them. Look for updates in a few weeks on that project if I ain't found floating dead in a river.

Bwahaha! Liberals in space. And did you read anything above about rockets being passé and phallocratic as well? But sure probably there's a bunch of Ayurvedic hippies you can meet-up in Christiania who knows to the secrets of how to build a Vimana ship... after all it's been a while since I didn't see hippies in airliners. Holy shit!

It's easy to be a troll (yes I'm looking at you!), perhaps come with something constructive? I personally believe building rockets is super stupid as well. I also agree that christiania is infected by crazy new age and magical hippie thinking.

But if someone is excited about something then maybe we don't need to destroy them immideately if we disagree? Please get over this sarcastic way of dealing with other people, I merely posted the links so OP could check them out if they were interested for realz.... At least we agree about the holiness of shit ;)

A space rocket is an ICBM. Enjoy repeatedly setting off the nuclear attack early warning systems of the Russian, Chinese and American states when testing your engines and turbopumps. I'm sure the military idiots in charge of these systems couldn't possibly fuck up and cause the end of the world.

Comrades we gotta get together and form the first anarchist space federation. We need to gather our bright minds and start up with small projects, building our way up to open-source satellites that will provide free internet for all! Here is my own practical solution for launching very small things into space without being detected or anything:
The idea is that a balloon full of electrically heated air will be able to adjust its temperature in order to be buoyant even in the thinnest layers of the atmosphere. There is can become a launching platform for a pneumatic cannon propelled rocket which can then ignite and thrust itself up to orbital velocity and decouple a satellite into earths orbit. Its a very modest start but its definitely something hobbyists can whip up! Lets do this comrades!!

The sadness is the zealous optimistic bravado that capitalism projects, that the space projects will multiply and attack the gravity of our own earth, forever upgrading satellite communications, big money for the emerging global internet conformity to connectivity to the totalitarian standard, an opportunistic wasting of resources which could fertilize the barren regions of our tenuous residency upon this unique solar sanctuary.

Thats fuckin stupid. You're lame. Space is the place.

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