A Weekend of Vandalism in New York

  • Posted on: 25 March 2012
  • By: worker

<table><tr><td> The vandalist is recognizable as the most obnoxious brat conjurable in society’s collective imagination. These Bart Simpsons struck once again this past weekend, pranking the Left and their enemies on multiple occasions in a joyous effort to devalorize everything it holds sacrosanct.

They started on Friday night by crashing a party held by the multinational corporation Verso, an enterprise which has made its fortune by cornering the market on socialist-oriented literature. While the paper they sell contains words arguing for revolt against the commodity form, they themselves ruthlessly defend it using lawyers, security guards, Zizekians, and other such police to prevent unauthorized consumption of their product. Such was the case when Verso lawyers sent a cease and desist notice to the beloved AAAARG.org, a website that hosts free PDFs of critical theory, putting Verso in the same category as the MPAA, RIAA, DOJ, and all other litigious enemies of free cultural exchange.

As young hip communists danced to 90s music in the bourgeois Verso loft, at least a dozen vandalists filled their bags with Verso’s inventory, intending to trade, gift, and fill their collective libraries with the volumes. The Robin Hood-like act was not looked at kindly by the Verso bosses and their Pinkertons, however, who finally became aware of the vandalism to their warehouse towards the party’s end. One bad citizen was grabbed, ordered to empty his bag, and threatened with arrest. Several corporate investors flocked to the scene, threatened violence against the bookworm, and declared themselves “true socialists” to defend themselves against the heckles of the proletarian attendees, generally sympathetic to the act of stealing from employers.</td><td><img title="Q:What is the difference between alienated life and cheap alienated life? A: Dignity" src="http://anarchistnews.org/files/pictures/2012/cupoflights.jpg"></td></tr>...

The sun went under, and so did the vandalists. Comrades need five hours of sleep to maintain their cognitive acuity. But no sooner had the great star poured its gold onto the streets once more, than the vandalists, refreshed by oneiric visions of the Metropolis sunken into bloody catastrophe, set out at a gallop toward the financial district of Manhattan. Finding the leisurely neo-hippie atmosphere of Zuccotti Park trite, the semio-hooligan band concocted a plan to tarnish the pacific scene. Embedded in the perimeter of this police colony like a benign tumor, the Left Forum at Pace University was to be the next target of our proletarian protagonists’ ruthless undermining.

For those who want a program for the revolution, the Left Forum has drafted it, and covered it with institutional endorsements. If you look in the index, between ‘reform’ and ‘revolution’, you will find ‘resignation’. Wedged like a weak nut between the two jaws of City Hall and Police Plaza, the Forum quaked in its vegan boots when this band of freaks appeared at its gates hollering “Autoreduce the Forum” in a sickening cadence and overpowered the University’s rented sentries. These one-time police academy hopefuls were no match for the berserk resolve of the invaders, who burst through the gates wielding slogans like nunchucks. The moldy academics in their lumpy seats didn’t know what to make of the lumpens, some of whom were already sizing up the vending machines for a siege in miniature.

More chants of “Communize Everything” and other such jargon seductive to trend-hopping Leftists allowed the group’s numbers to surge to around 100, who soon marched to Zuccotti amidst Pied-Piper-like chants of “Praxis! Praxis!”

Once in the park, the intellectuals tarnished the atmosphere of activist smug with discourse on such topics as young Marx’s hygienic rituals, the Death of God, and materialist analyses of punk lyrics. Indeed, both the over-lexed Left Forum and the over-praxed Zuccotti were now thoroughly intermingled, setting the stage for the night’s chaos.

As police began to wipe the human graffiti from the park’s pavement, numerous marches began to snake around downtown Manhattan, seeking icons to defile along it’s path. The ensuing police could not handle the swift, self-barricading crowd at times, and a window of Uniqlo was destroyed after a vandalist caught site of their face’s reflection in the glass over the blank visage of a mannequin. Perhaps seduced by the incoherent rage of the crowd, media recorded an affinity group of officers using the head of an Occupy medic to damage the window of an yuppie apartment building.

Like the fumes from a can of spraypaint, the betraying scent of the vandalist hangs for a few moments before it dissolves completely in the flowing air. The odorous memories of internal transgressions, pettiness, and provocations will soon be replaced by the reassuring scent of freshly baked historicity, allowing yet another Call of Action to be posted, and subsequently defaced.

-Geiseric Tendency
Mayan Spring 2012

Comments

Garbage. Degenerates. You all will turn into monkeys!

Wasn't that vegetarians?

As well, yes.

FUCWWNCII

Vandalism is my only ideology.

I heard somebody broke a thing someplace yesterday. It was for some reason probably.

I heard some anarchists got drunk and peed on a sidewalk thus striking a mortal blow against the municipalty of trenton.

Boooooooring

Full Vandalism. No Transition.

haha lame post, lame comments, i go to bed now, night night, with nigh another thought ever given to the these self flagellating twats e'r again.

^*has nightmares about communique*

you go to the new school don't you...

because you totally rose above Left Forum/Occupy by smashing one window, pissing of some lefties, and then writing a really boring article.

hey, can you academia just blend egoism and nihilism finally, and become venture capitalists? and then fuck off? your incest quarrels are embarrassing.

I'm pretty sure Egoist + Nihilism doesn't equal venture capitalism .

negate yourself

may 1st 2012

Why the fuck would you write a communique about this? Like, this isn't strategically relevant - you might as well write about the sandwich you made for lunch. I mean, seriously, put your dick away and quit being such a self-important darsh.

i was gonna have a tuna sandwich for lunch, but it didnt seem communist enough. so a fried a fucking egg and added that to the sandwich.

i was going to make a sandwich for lunch but then i am glutarded so i just ate lunch meat and cheese and crie.d

i was going to make a sandwich for lunch but then when i was walking to the store to buy lunch meat i was hit and killed by an oversized truck. i thought "for the commune" as my eyes closed for the last time

I don't see how anyone could think they have a chance of even slowing down this chaos, much less stopping it.

backed hard

Total support for these actions as well as the communique.

-- Les Enrages de New York

Too many words, not enough blood.

And looting the vending machines would have been more important than bringing a bunch of left forum zombies on a Prole stroll. Free combos!!!!

And its not "autoreduce" we don't live in fucking Italy morons. It's shoplift, steal, or loot. THIS IS AMERICA. SPEAK ENGLISH.

"And its not "autoreduce" we don't live in fucking Italy morons. It's shoplift, steal, or loot. THIS IS AMERICA. SPEAK ENGLISH."

Best comment this year.

Autoreduce is in English not Italian.

Go ask someone what autoreduce means in your neighborhood. AMERICA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!

what does it mean?

fuckifiknow, but i know what LOOTING means!

Auto-reduction is basically refusing to pay full price or pay at all for goods and services. I think the 'ask people in your neighborhood shit' and 'we don't speak Italian hurr in AMERIKKKA' is inherently patriotic and therefore counter-revolutionary. xD

<3 Autonomia.

Till anarchists can stop talking and acting like the pretentious bourgie Verso socialists they rightfully dislike, I can't tell the difference. And yeah, I live in America, I don't go to $50,000 a year liberal art school, I don't live on the coast and I don't want to learn your bourgie bloc slang. The only reason to talk about autoreduction is to set yourself apart from the millions of people doing the exact same thing right now. I don't like you. :'-(

MURRRRRRRRRRRRICAAAA!!!! Your nationalism brings a tear to my eye, good patriot.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/44696/detail/

i'm crying at the fetishization of european bullshit terms as well comrade. though the linked video is still funny.
-from middle america

"refusing to pay full price"
REFORMIST BULLSHIT.

"or pay at all for goods and services"
WHICH IS CALLED LOOTING IN AMERICA!!!!!!!!

This warms my shriveling little heart.
-a local troll

the word "auto-reduction" should have been translated "self-reduction" from the start. not only is that the direct translation (from french anyway, which like italian is etymologically Latin and uses "auto" in the same way. for instance auto-organiser means to self-organize), but it is also easier to comprehend, thus sounding way less pretentious.

self-reduction is a useful synonym for looting, but with a class war analysis, much like expropriation is to robbery. you can see where this might come in handy if you wanted to legitimize looting in people's minds. but it will never be generalized in the way the word expropriation has if we keep trusting sylvere lotringer's broken english.

AMERIKKKA!

I don't think that it was all that hard to understand to begin with, its not as if English speaking countries don't ever use 'auto' to mean 'self'.

The cease and desist notice from Verso to AAAARG.org is BS. I didn't know about that til now.

'Please HELP us in getting the word out! We are gathering at our local city halls, throughout the country all day starting 8 AM on Thursday, April 19th 2012 to commemorate the 237th year since the beginning of the American Revolution in 1775.

We owe it to our founding fathers. We owe it to OURSELVES!'

Reactionary populist garbage.

waste of fuckng time

what the fuck is this?

Who the hell knows?

CONTEXT: Certain people without Occupy are trying to hit off this "American Spring" day of action sorta thing, which I guess is envisioned as being like May Day except half a month early?

*within Occupy (or throughout, or whatever)

maybe it'll help build momentum for mayday. could be worth engaging with to get people out to mayday stuff after the ineffectual and disempowering city hall rallies........

Will your slogans break bricks?

Sounds like good fun.

why is new york so pathetic?

it is the global center of capitalism and therefore under colonial occupation by the global elite and their institutions.

It is the Capitol of Capital.

SHAKE IN YOUR SHOES VERSO STOP THE INTERNATIONAL POWER OF THE WORKERS' COUNCILS WILL SOON WIPE YOU OUT STOP HUMANITY WILL NOT BE HAPPY UNTIL THE LAST BOOKSELLER IS HUNG WITH THE GUTS OF THE LAST GRAD STUDENT STOP LONG LIVE THE STRUGGLE OF THE KRONSTADT SAILORS AND OF THE MAKHNOVSCHINA AGAINST TROTSKY AND LENIN STOP LONG LIVE THE 1956 COUNCILIST INSURRECTION OF BUDAPEST STOP DOWN WITH THE INTERNET STOP

yes

Wow, people here are mean. I liked it. Sorry?

welcometotheinternetyoumustbenewhere.jpg

Buy More Dogs

no, no dogs, dogs are horrid I believe we've been over this

People Like Dogs 2012!

NO DOGS, NO FUTURE!!!!

no dogs no masters ! ! !

Communization means helping each other to never work.

+ I want a copy of Ranciere's new book if you snagged one. Thx.

Ohhhh I think communization is a lot more complex than just living off currently-existing goods with the absence of services.

But yes, abolish work to the greatest extent possible.

Can concentrate on attacking capitalists that don't produce awesome books on leftist things? Which is the vast majority? I don't know how verso makes sense as a target. And regarding leftforum honestly, I think that occupiers need a bit more theory and could conceivably learn something by sitting in some panels (just as academics could use some more praxis). But we shouldn't relate to each other as enemies, we have bigger fish to fry like the fucking state and actually big evil corporations. Unfortunately, completely open publishing models have pretty much failed and if we want something of slightly higher quality than anarchistnews.net there is going to have to be some budget involved and maybe some editors or something. Because honestly, I'm sick of reading on anarchistnews about how some anarchists smashed a window somewhere in America, woop de doo, I'm so impressed, you broke something made of glass. I think we should be setting our skills to bigger things.

...ESPECIALLY WHAT YOU LOVE

.org

Did Simon Critchley put you New School idiots up to this?

You idiots make me want to like Verso.

We love Verso! That's why we stole all their books

They were selling them for like 10$ at the end of the conference, to which it was easy to sneak in and not pay the conference fee. I'm on welfare and even I could afford to buy one.

sucker

o ya. i'm a total moron for paying for something. i bet you never pay for anything, ever, and eat all your food from a dumpster. good job man. why don't you attack crimethinc, they sell books for money too.

how do you know we don't?

because i didn't read a communique about it on anarchistnews.net and since everytime an anarchist spits on the sidewalk it seems to generate a communique here, it must not have happened.

Remember how AJODA used to have that section "Embarrassments to the Anarchist Milieu"? The milieu seems to be nothing but an embarrassment these days.

i can't even tell what's a joke and what's not anymore.

then we have won... muahahahahahah!

won the battle of the internet maybe but capitalism still exists and people are still being killed and fucked over. so maybe our internet war is not so useful.

why don't you go rob crimethinc while your at it? crimethinc books cost money and money = bad.

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