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and would add, as you imply, that there is a lot going on, on both sides of this. so let me play devil's advocate for a minute.
first: a story that argues your point. decades ago i was part of a pro-choice group that was defending clinics at a time when that was very hot. we had a few meetings in public spaces and two or three times strangers would show up, not be dressed like us, not say much, and leave early. later we'd check their phone numbers, and it would be a wrong number. each time we agreed that they had seemed suspicious, but we didn't want to make assumptions, and no one else said anything, so we didn't challenge them. each time we agreed we'd do better next time.

on the other hand, we can't always trust ourselves. we all have had moments when we said or thought something that we reject--sometimes even as part of growing up in a messed up society. part of rejecting this society is wanting to do things differently. that is, we are part of the society that we are trying to reject, right? i usually tell that story about the interlopers as a failure-to-trust-selves story, but maybe it was a better failure to be open to possibly-normie strangers (in that context), than to confront people. maybe the success would've been to not talk about sensitive stuff in those meetings, and maybe we didn't (interestingly, i don't remember that. ha)

maybe there's an argument that trusting ourselves means being hesitant to trust ourselves sometimes? in other words, i can imagine someone beating themselves up for not trusting themselves, and someone beating themselves up for trusting themselves at the wrong time (or on the wrong issue, or whatever)... but i'm not trying to change the subject to when we beat ourselves up, so never mind?
anyway, i wish i could always trust myself. that would be nice.