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Ah, yes, but — have you considered all the worlds that have been destroyed to allow your little world to be possible? That are currently being destroyed. What gives you this god-like exemption from that? The very existence of the human forces the destruction of others, including animal others, which your humanism seemingly exempts.

Suicidal the adjective/adverb is completely different from the act of killing yourself. One can't say to have begun living without actualizing their finitude.

"If you like to gamble well baby I'm your man,
Win some lose some, it's all the same to me."