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So basically your view of moderating chats or a forum is the same than neoliberal idiots like Chris Poole and Steve Huffman, who did a very good job allowing for hate speech as well as more general nationalist or racist bigotry to have its place online, in the name of having an "open" or "free" medium. It's an issue of you not willing to do anything about it, or just doing what mods can, i.e. !kickban, or at least advising the parties with problematic behavior to stop being asshats. And doing something about it does not equate to policing. It's acknowledging there are basic principles of discussion, and if some people are being jerks, they just gotta find another place to spill their hate. Like a mirror in their bathroom (if they can!), or something.

It's pretty easy what you can do.