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i am 65 with more than one comorbidity so in the higher risk group. but as healthy and strong as i can be by not being a part of the systems anymore than i can. or find useful or enjoyable.

i am not in the least afraid of this latest critter though i don't relish getting it. and no way am i going into the system for care if i do. i won't "sacrifice" my life for someone else as some grands are advocating. it just doesn't apply. i removed from myself from the medical system as much as i could over the years since all they could offer was vaguely understood science - i understood it more than some of them - and unacceptable drugs. the idea of entering one of those hotboxes of disease on the chance i might get saved (at what cost to my long-term well being) is not happening. talk about isolation. can you imagine dying with a tube crammed down your lungs? alone.

fuck that...i have lived a most fabulous life and i will continue to do so with only the bounds of my own choices based on my own best needs. which is based on the assumption, omg, that i am the one best suited to make that determination. and when i die it will be on my terms, in my time, in my way as much as possible.

and what a great time to be alive, to see the proof of how fallible these systems are, how convoluted and mismatched the various mandates, ideologies, and assumptions are. watching as the system managers try to figure out how to regain retain and remain in control of an orderly and temporary shutdown...with the help of orderly citizens.

i choose to spread the dissent, blast away at the blind trust, open the rusting rotting holes. take care of myself and mine, disconnecting still from the machinery. reconnecting with me and the wild world around me. one does not have to be take a knee jerk perspective to be in refusal, to be in rebellion. you don't have to be harming others either, since their choices are doing that quite efficiently.

but fuck anyway who wants to kill me sooner (go ahead and cough on me and see if i don't knock you up side the head with my walking stick) or tell me how to live.