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for me, it was a decent amount of violence in my childhood, relative to a largely peaceful social context anyway

a friend once said to me that they processed their trauma most effectively by using it to get stronger/smarter/meaner blah blah blah, you get the idea. something I've come to think of as the exact opposite of a victim mentality.

a passing-through rather than a getting-stuck-in or defined-by. it wasn't easy and it took a very long time. oh, and I caused harm during the process! can't forget that.