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anon (not verified)
He's (and I'm not from the

He's (and I'm not from the identity crowd but it's probably a he, deal with it) probably reacting to my post where I said practically instead of saying "ideally these would be practical steps".

He saw what I outlined and realized it would help, but that no one would do it for him. People get excited about all sorts of things and drop their friends. The riots/protests this summer were enough to keep most anarchists who are FOR lockdown outside during a lockdown.

Also, anarchist communities are IRL, for the most part, heavy on identity politics. This means friends of his, who might agree with him about a lot of stuff and even like him when he's not like this, are split, because they work everyday with anarchists and allies who are super PC and sold on IdPol and he probably doesn't do great with that crowd. The reason I think that is because of the way he (you, because you're obviously reading this, so please respond) ) said "abelist property owners" which leads me to believe, he's white, poor and a guy and obviously wouldn't use those words against someone unless he was trying to speak to them on their level, in words they understood, and if he does do that then those ableist property owners for sure aren't going to take it well.

But it's in our desperate moments that we self-sabotage, say crazy shit to our friends, post random shit online, make weird phone calls, get really drunk and do something stupid, or worse unforgivable. I know you shouldn't be shitty to people who gave you shelter, but it's not exactly you, or it is and it isn't.

I'm not going to harp on about drives for too long, but that's why the dividualist thing appeals to me at all. It's recognizing that I have all these pulls inside me and some are stronger than others. Some of the stronger drives, when they've been at the forefront, help me. I'm not into strengthening only one, like a certain mustachioed german was later on in his life because he thought it would give him superpowers. When I'm in a mental health crisis and all I can think about it suicide, the drives that are more prominent, that are driving me to fatalism, I have to remember that those drives don't serve me. They're real, they're always there, but I have other drives to, stronger ones that I can reinforce with others.

Say I had a kid. One of my strongest drives would be to be their father. Now let's say I also have depression. I might have a depressive episode, but by strengthening my drive towards fatherhood, which are all wrapped up and supported by other drives (drives like: play, making music, baking, telling jokes, woods walks, etc.) that align or support the over arching drive (being around for my kid) I can see the difference between drives that serve me and drives that don't.

I will never say your mental health episodes are gifts because it's our own unique perspectives that are smushed into the pavement of civilization and that you need to be wild and crazy to fight against it. I would be dead without meds. But there is something that deepens you as a person when you've been the lowest a punk can get, and I don't hear that explored often enough.

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