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Wow. You're right, Luke, you weren't LARPing. You honestly believed you were in a war against fascists. Not sure what the word for that is. Delusions of grandeur maybe.

Is this really how you think power works, like a game of capture the flag? If you and your 'soldiers' weren't 'deployed' in DC that day then the 'fascists' would have marched into the target building and, what? Suddenly be in control of all the state institutions in the US? It must be satisfying to think you change the course of history that day.

I think delusions of grandeur is the right term. You sound exactly like the #StormTheCapitol people, who really seemed to believe that if they got to sit in Nancy Pelosi's chair for an hour, she'd suddenly lose all her power, and it'd be transferred to them. The reality is what you were doing was no different, and no less trivial, than when me and my friends used to fight with skinheads outside punk gigs.