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I think you may be over thinking this. Kids are incredibly resilient and it is possible that sex without penetration could be as exhilirating as a ride on a rollercoaster and a few days later the thrill would be forgotten. Its only when brute force by authoritarian sadistic orgasm addicts enters the equation that permanent harm is done.
I myself have children and enjoy hugging and kissing them. Just common sense and a personal code tells me that tongue kissing children is disgusting, especially during the covid epidemic.