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there are many types of death and many kinds of suicides, both literal and metaphorical, and not enough time in a lifetime to discuss them all.

in solitude, thoughts are companions, and thinking of one’s own death, as something distant or imminent, or imagining how it will be long after it, or even considering suicide can serve as a comforting pastime, whether employed or not, anarchist or not, hopeful or not.

amidst uncertainty and worries, it’s calming to think of a sure thing you can count on, a point beyond which you won’t be able to worry.

at any given point, considering the pros and cons, suicide figures at into the top 10 best things you could do right now. careful prioritizing will knock it down a few places down the list. if you’re feeling unimaginative it may figure into your top 5 or top 3. as long as you can successfully iterate the process, you’ll always find something to do that is more immediately accessible, requires less effort, is more rewarding, is less harmful, less offensive, less inconvenient, less messy, and less permanent. even if it ends up on the 1st spot, you can always procrastinate and re-evaluate your list next time you feel up to doing something.

of course this an absurd way of looking at it. as i mentioned in the beginning, there are many kinds of suicides. many are not coldly and carefully considered somewhat indifferently. some happen in the heat of the moment, impulsively, in a fit of mania, or psychosis, or some altered state. many happen not as a carefully considered choice, affirming one’s will, but result from a mindset of having no other choice, of feeling cornered and pressured by other greater forces, external and internal. these pressures could be a demoralizing illness, or torture by the state or some other abuser, for example. these cases are unequivocal tragedies.

but the fact that a particular suicide was enacted with a level head and a clear mind rarely comforts the bereaved, if there are any. but unavoidable accidents happen. the bereaved would still be distraught if the cause of death were a car crash, a stray bullet, or lightning. why should they take exception if the cause were a stray thought, carefully considered? life itself is a sort of accident you can’t recover from.