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the perceptions of sex have far outstripped an ability to keenly articulate what we want, or better: what we need.

the proliferation of always-on vicarious access to sex has distorted a whole generation’s expections. is anyone having sex anymore? the allure brings a lot of talk, and speculation more than the doing. the doing is awkward, because bodies are awkward. people obviously have kids, so some deed is being done. but, i think they like the idea more than the execution. people i know with kids can’t stop telling me to have them, that i will want to have them (even though i’m trying to scrounge up $$$ to get fixed) some day, they don’t get along with their partner or their children. sex can bring stalemates, and bring out mediocrity. the idea of sex seems to be seen and interpreted as pain for a lot of people, and they become addicted to misery, whether of incel or dead bedroom.

i do like how folks like dale carnegie and john gray have tried to hep us get into each other’s heads and understand/contextualize the rhythms of our inter-relationships along being able to read and feel out signals of emotional spatial needs. i’m afraid the proliferation of social media is making us too narcissistic to actually come together and work out practical matters...

what happens to people’s sexualities under feudalism? this is where we’re going. and it’s not just sublimating sex in the form of a god-king. our interiors are being mapped, language privatized. emotional responses are being weaponized, politics a narrow logic of war. what will sex look like under this lens?

there’s a word that also needs to be said about aging, and all of the hormonal disruptors from sleep, diet, exercise. so many endocrine disruptors are still in the food supply (umbilical cords still register ddt, even though it was outlawed ~42 years ago). testosterone rates have been dropping. aging males should definitely be doing weekly squats/dead lifts sessions. 66% of the US diet is: white flour, industrial seed oils, sugar. it’s pro-inflammatory. we’ve really gotta confront hormetic stressors from inside to outside, and honestly manage the deep pain behind this post-truth era of emotional fascism.