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consciousness also underlies this issue. spronsen's statement: "I set aside my broken heart and I heal the only way I know how—by being useful.
I efficiently compartmentalize my pain…
And I joyfully go about this work.
(To those burdened with the wreckage from my actions, I hope that you will make the best use of that burden.)"

in other words, spronsen felt two conflicting things at once: this action is useful, AND this action is burdensome for others. after it all, in that burden there is a potential for further usefulness!

what if instead of, "if only this hadn't happened, our organizing would be easier," it was more like, "because this happened, our organizing has greater purpose." the action doesn't have to be reproduced or imitated to be meaningful. ya know, that "both/and" approach we hear about sometimes.