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I was NOT some Evolved Being destined to receive Samadhi at a young age. I was easily in the most damaged 15% of the population. Nearly constant major depression during age 16 thru 22, much of which manifested as hate rather than obvious depression, from which I got permanent brain damage (hypocamus- I tested 2, 4, and 7 percentile on working memory; I first noticed this at age 18). To use the Doctor Words, I had a borderline "personality" (character) disorder with an attachment disorder underneath it. NOT an apparently promising candidate for what quickly became high-dose work with LSD.