Out Of Stock: Confessions Of A Grocery Store Guerrilla

  • Posted on: 13 April 2012
  • By: worker

<table><tr><td>From <a href="http://www.crimethinc.com/blog/2012/04/12/steal-something-from-work-day-...

To celebrate <a href="http://www.stealfromwork.crimethinc.com/">Steal Something from Work Day</a>, and to boost the morale of rebel workers everywhere, we present this memoir of a food service employee's one-man war against workplace alienation.

<p><em>This narrative is dedicated to the courageous individuals who attacked the Whole Foods during the general strike in Oakland on November 2011; whatever the papers say, many of us employees would be overjoyed if you paid a visit to our workplaces.</em></p></td><td><img title="I believe Lenin would call this the logic of the shop floor" src="http://anarchistnews.org/files/pictures/2008/smashysmashy.jpg"></td></tr...
<p><a href="http://cloudfront.crimethinc.com/images/ssfwd/2b.jpg" rel="lightbox[mrpa]"><img src="http://cloudfront.crimethinc.com/images/ssfwd/2a.jpg" /></a><span class="invisible">-</span></p>
<p><strong>My Name Is Carlos</strong></p>
<p>I am twenty-eight years old. I am wearing a black apron in the canned food aisle of the well-known corporate natural foods grocery store at which I work. I&#8217;m staring into nothingness, reflecting on the decisions that have put me here. I am beyond depressed; I&#8217;ve reached that juncture where depression meets anger. I am hostile, reactionary, and dangerous.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m so lost in thought that I&#8217;m honestly unaware of the shoppers scuffling around me—until a customer interrupts to ask a question I had already heard many times since I had clocked in. I turn my blank stare upon her: “What?” She repeats the question and I cut her off, pointing to the empty space where the product should be; below it is a sign that announces, in very large decipherable letters, “Out Of Stock.” She commands me to go check in the back, obviously annoyed at my poor social skills.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been asked this question about a dozen times already; I let out a sigh through my clenched teeth. This customer isn&#8217;t happy with my reaction and asks for my name, since I’m not wearing a name badge like all the other employees. This is a threat. “My name?” I answer, drawing on all my resentment. “My name is Carlos. I work in the Bakery Department.” Two falsehoods.</p>
<p>Confused by my response, she heads straight to the customer service booth to submit a complaint. This is not the first time this has happened; I disappear to my hiding spot. Thus begins the career of Carlos, grocery store guerrilla and ghost in the machine, the shadow employee known throughout the store for disobedience, obstruction, and customer service performance art. </p>
<p><strong>Death to Loss Prevention</strong></p>
<p>I had been living in the same city for almost five years already and hadn&#8217;t yet made contact with other anarchists. It was an incredibly isolated phase of my life. Between the hours I spent working and recovering from work, I schemed plan after spectacular plan to break free from my loneliness, only to have them crushed when I stepped back through those sliding doors.</p>
<p>I often saw customers shoplifting; a shoplifter myself, I&#8217;d try to give them space, but I wasn&#8217;t the only one watching. The Loss Prevention Agent (LP) stalked the isles, attempting to blend in among the shoppers, though not much good at it. LPs are the scum of the retail industry, the vilest of would-be cops. I saw many taken into custody by these bounty hunters and eventually couldn&#8217;t stand passively by anymore; I began competing with the LP to get to the shoplifters first. This was incredibly risky: not only was I risking getting fired for preventing their apprehension, but I had to be secretive enough not to attract attention to any of the shoplifters I was attempting to make contact with.</p>
<p>One distinctive group that shopped infrequently at the store wore all black and weren&#8217;t particularly subtle about stealing. Often they were lucky enough to come in when the LP wasn&#8217;t working, but one evening the LP began creeping behind them from a distance. Somehow the middle-aged rent-a-cop did not attract their attention. I was desperate to approach the would-be shoplifters in black, but I knew that could mean getting caught myself, so I decided to start with the LP instead.</p>
<p>I walked to the back of the store and used the intercom to call for the LP by his first name, asking that he call me back at that number. Then while the LP attempted to return the call I headed to a different phone at another location in the store, from which I called for the LP over the intercom again. Miraculously, this little stunt bought just enough time for the shoplifters to leave untouched by the confused loss prevention agent.</p>
<p>Afterward, the LP and the store manager questioned me as to why I had called twice and never picked up. My answer was simple and easy enough to believe: I was trying to contact him about the group of shoplifters I had seen. When he didn&#8217;t answer in time, I decided to follow them and called from a phone in another location. This put the blame back on the LP. A few months later, I met those same shoplifters in black outside my workplace and told them about what had transpired. They are my friends now and although I no longer work at that store, I do what I can to keep them safe when we are together.</p>
<p><strong>Sabotage on the Dairy Floor</strong></p>
<p>Anyone who&#8217;s worked in a grocery store knows how miserable the dairy department can be. You’re stuck in a claustrophobic freezer room for eight hours, terrified you’ll be accidentally locked inside. No matter how many layers you wear, the cold creeps in and reminds you of all the things you&#8217;d rather be doing. On top of that, you’re forced to listen to terrible muzak blaring from the speakers, occasionally interrupted by a shrill voice to add to your aural torture.</p>
<p>Everyone was expected to work at least one dairy shift a week; although I did my best to evade it, I was often stuck stalking the dairy floor. On one of these shifts, I broke one of the large metal sliding doors by slamming it too hard in a fit of rage. I quickly found out that if one of these dairy doors stopped functioning correctly, I didn&#8217;t have to stock that particular door.</p>
<p>I wasn&#8217;t content reserving my anger for the dairy doors. My second target was those deafening speakers. On one of my closing shifts, after my bosses had left for the day, I took the opportunity to paint the connecting wires with clear nail polish I had pocketed from the beauty section. I chose this method instead of just cutting the wires because I was already under suspicion for the dairy doors. After that, to my great relief, I didn&#8217;t have to hear 80s music anymore, as none of my coworkers could figure out what was wrong with the dairy speaker system.</p>
<p>Following several broken doors, a new speaker system, and a long list of health code violations, I was taken off dairy duty.</p>
<p><strong>The Falcon Cannot Hear the Falconer</strong></p>
<p>In the course of my final days as an employee, I took it upon myself to leave messages throughout the store. Armed with a permanent marker, I wrote anti-capitalist slogans under items, on items, on the bathroom stall doors, on baby diaper boxes, and on all the self-help customer computers, being careful never to get caught on the security cameras. The most notorious of these slogans was “the falcon cannot hear the falconer,” which I heard repeatedly discussed by both customers and employees. It’s a line from a William Butler Yeats poem describing Europe after the Second World War; I used to say it to my boss at a different job many years earlier when he asked me to do things I didn&#8217;t feel like doing.</p>
<p>Despite all the amusing things I wrote, this was the only one shoppers seemed to notice. Customers would simply ignore graffiti cursing work or capitalism as if it were just another tag on a shelf; but wherever I put up “the falcon cannot hear the falconer,” I&#8217;d witness customers staring at it, trying to decipher its meaning. Of course, any item that was written on became “damaged,” and employees were allowed to take home damaged items—so not only was I detracting from corporate profits, I was also improving conditions for us workers. And walking around the store with my permanent marker was one of my many ways of looking busy while doing as little work as possible.</p>
<p><strong>The Damage Done</strong></p>
<p>Aside from breaking the dairy doors, writing graffiti, and carrying out psychological warfare against my employers, most of my antics consisted of petty vandalism and general bad behavior. My acts of indignation would probably have gotten me fired on the spot or arrested if it hadn’t been the affinity I had developed with my coworkers around our hatred for work. Most of the grocery team would mark off items to bring home or just blatantly put groceries in their bags as they were leaving for the night. Only a few of my coworkers were “good” employees, and those were widely loathed; after my first week working at the store, I was informed of who they were and warned to avoid them.</p>
<p>All good things come to an end, however. Cameras were installed throughout the store, most of them in the back stock area where my team usually worked. Though we were able to find a few spots outside the camera&#8217;s view to continue our pilfering, the store managers initiated mandatory bag searches at the end of our shifts. My reign of terror came to a close soon after when upper management ordered my boss to get rid of me. In a generous gesture, my boss instead informed me of the decision and offered me the option to turn in my two-week notice. I put in my two weeks just in time for summer and took the opportunity to spend my free time making connections with other anarchists, fostering friendships that were only possible because I was no longer giving my time to that terrible job. </p>
<p><a href="http://cloudfront.crimethinc.com/images/ssfwd/3b.jpg" rel="lightbox[mrpa]"><img src="http://cloudfront.crimethinc.com/images/ssfwd/3a.jpg" /></a><span class="invisible">-</span></p>
<p><a href="http://gothamist.com/2011/07/25/how_to_quit_your_whole_foods_job_in.php" target="_blank">How to quit your job at Whole Foods</a><br />
<a href="http://gothamist.com/2011/07/16/taco_bell_manager_who_worked_22_day.php" target="_blank">How to quit your job at Taco Bell</a></p>


Crimeth Inc: Give Up Already!

anon poster: Don't stop, you're comments are going to drive them under soon!

I am not comments, you are!

Yes! Get back to work!

go back to 1996 already. People have been saying this shit forever. As long as CrimethInc. does the best job of doing what they do, we're going to have to put up with them. Your hating is just part of their program.

Oh no you found me out! I was actually a Crimeth Inc operative planted here to make hating comments. The plan has been foiled! Abort!

some crimethinc operatives are planted so deep they don't even know who they work for. but you can't fool us, you know exactly what you're doing. the troll doth protest too much.

This sounds like total Philip Dick mayhem. Under-undercovers and Triple agents? Anarchs pretending to be cops pretending to be anarchs and spying on themselves... wooa! Only in California!

... A Bloc Blackly.

Do Black Blocs Dream of Anarchist Sheep?

The Manarchist In the High Castle.

get high erry day


A few of our CrimethInc operatives infiltrated NEFAC, but they kept killing themselves, so we quit sending them in there.

hilarious and almost true.

How does one shoplift without getting caught? I've always been too afraid to do it.

The secret is to really begin.

Yep. As as in all risky practices, begin with simple things. Then when you feel confident enough, go with more ambitious stuff.

Eventually you'll end up with bottomless armpits, like me, or like that guy who simply walked through the counter with a ladder on his shoulders... with no one suspecting anything.

...or just wait for the next riotous demo.

I, myself, began stealing during work days. Felt like a relief from these stupid jobs.

Collect or take grocery sacks from store. Wear typical white-collar attire and look stressed out from being at work all day. Make a list, or at least what appears to be a list. Show up at 5:30ish during a work day. Do your shopping. Fill up a cart. Find a quiet part of the store. Bag that shit up. Push the cart through one of the empty aisles. Use what was a list in your fist in what appears to be a reciept from a distance. Exit the store. Never hit the same store twice in one week or more than twice a month. Travel to nearby towns that have larger stores. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Do this with friends. Each grabbing a cart. We managed to get 5 cart loads like this at one point, when were stocking up the local food not bombs on staples that can't be dumpstered like cans of cooking oil, etc.

Oookkkaaayyy,,,. Obviously surveillance cameras are irrelevent, the special FBI division known as the -Special Essential Food Larceny Squad- have correlated years of data on your gangs activities and are planning a bust at your next job. Best to arm yourselves with mops, soda pop bottles and over ripe tomatoes, the shopping trolleys will be flying when your gang go out in a 'use by date' blaze of glory....

Can't stop the chaos, copppppperrrrs!

There isn't much point for such complicated stealthy tactics when you're with buddies.... jes' do it the Greek way!

Stealth is mostly proper for lonely people, or very small numbers or people.

And empty aisles are usually found to be blocked in supermarkets where I live.

Look for cameras and employees and take shit that's small but expensive. I used to walk out of places sometimes with things in my pockets that I didn't even mean to steal but aimlessly put in there and then I realized nobody noticed... So yeah, that's how I got started.

Oh yeah, and liquor stores will fuck you up for that, bad. Nobody notices a missing snickers bar or a can of soup, but a fifty dollar bottle of scotch = they press charges.

I might try a 6-pack of beer, I think most staff would think it bordered on stingy petty behavior and decide not to pursue legal action for such a trifle. But then again, there are those store staff who are fools and puppets of capitalist indoctrinations and perversions (jesus that sounds so maoist).
The legal loophole is to consume the goods within the premises themselves, thus one has not technically removed the items. In 10 minutes I managed 1 x 12" cabana, 2 x wholemeal rolls, 2 x bananas, 1 pint chocolate milk, 1/4 pint bourbon, until 2 staff approached me and I smiled contentedly at them, this being the first decent meal I'd had in 6 days. It's amazing how a full belly alters ones perceptions of society.

Anarchist mission number 1> equally distribute food globally so that everyone gets one good helluva meal per day, and then sit back and watch the revolution unfold. gun''''''

I use a gun.

You sound intense. Does it go down kinda like this?


You try it and test it. God, I've lifted from Argentina when I lived there. It's super easy and fun to do. The US is a bit harder because of the electronic counter measures. But other countries are so technically backward, that doing it there is far easier.

There's lots of ways. The easiest is to abuse the self-checkout if you shop at a store that hase one. Just note the plu# for something cheap like onions and use it for something expensive like avocados. If they ever did catch you, all you'd have to do is shrug you shoulders and say oops.

I also like to pop certain types of things in my pocket, but still pay for others. Especially cheese, that shit is over-priced.

The most direct method is to just take a cloth bag, use it instead of a basket to hold your stuff and then take a shortcut past the checkout aisles and out the front door. No one seems to have caught on to that one yet.

Part of the key as someone else mentioned is your look. I used to get caught when I was a kid, but now I'm 33, steal just as much, but never get caught. And I doubt it's got anything to with being better at it.

My favorite comment is "Capitalismo es Egoismo" , but likely people would be even more confused about the anti-capitalism statement this way.

You sound like a jerk to work with honestly.
Shirking the shit everyone has to rotate doing and hates?
Writing stupid shit on everything like a 5 year old?

You're a fucking loser with no social ability.
1) grow the fuck up.
2) fuck over your employer in ways that don't fuck over your co workers you moron.

I can't believe crimethinc celebrated this juvenile bullshit.

How does stealing goods is fucking over co-workers, unless perhaps it's in a cafe/restaurant??? Where didja got your knowledge of economic processes in the retail market... the McDonald's brainwashing tapes for employees?

That isn't but some of the stuff he brags about did.

Ugh jesus do we have to rehash this? Really?

being a slacker so the other workers have to do more work is less radical than being the person who helps other workers out with the shitty work more than you are forced to, especially it means helping out those workers in less comfortable positions than you (working an hour longer so your co-worker can leave early to pick her kid up from school on time, etc...).

that is more radical than being a slacker that the other people there have to pick up the slack for.
selfish rebellion vs. solidaristic/social rebellion. know the difference.

wise the fuck up.

"being a slacker so the other workers have to do more work is less radical than being the person who helps other workers out with the shitty work"

I don't think either are radical. Sure one might be more polite but neither of those things is radical in any way because: you are just working.

true to some extent, but to think of others desires and needs rather than just your own is to break the mindset capitalism wants us to have.

is how we hold onto our humanity in a world that wants us to forget it.

"true to some extent, but to think of others desires and needs rather than just your own is to break the mindset capitalism wants us to have."
yea, 'cause christian martyrs are the best revolutionaries evar.

right cuz caring about other people is totes self-sacrificing christian morality!

gdmt. i started, so now i have to continue.
no, of course thinking of other people is one of those things that well-adjusted folks do. (yea, i'll just leave that there ftm.)
but just as you're taking one simplistic view of people at work (one's co-workers are automatically worthy of consideration), it's just as valid to take your comment and read it simplistically.
my point, which i will now spell out tediously, is that there is no automatic worthiness in other people, that "caring for other people" has been just as co-opted and fucked up as not caring for people, etc.

yeah, tell the workers how to do it! fuck the rebellion they engage in--they should join your party, or religion, or whatever!

is it really so hard to understand "don't do shit that makes your co-workers think you are a selfish dick"???

i sabotage the world of work more than all you other commenters combined, guaranteed. but i am not autistic, and therefore recognize it is not good to do so in a way that makes other people not like you.


you do realize your ideas are exactly how comrades in the past have turned into policemen?

Yeah fuck autistic people! The best way to make your point was definitely to bring them into it.


sure, whatever you say, anon.


fuck you a thousand times. No, a million.

no, four and a half million times

autism is a disease of the hyper-alienated rich.

fuck you.

Autism is on the rise as we create and raise our kids in poisoned places and given the realities of environmental rascism- its not just a "disease" of the rich- actualy its not really a disease as much as a collection/spectrum of symptoms which some people find helpful in describing how hard it is to reach/communicate/understand social cues and behaviors.

You could make an argument that most "mentall health" diagnosis are just metaphors for the various ways people are fucked/dominated/affected by capital and not diseases per say and only rich folks get their kids diagnosed but if that is what you mean then say that, don't be a dick.

This^^ is an excellent comment, the reason I return time and again to this wunderful site! And so concise, saves me reading books I can't afford.

Wow your class analysis of mental conditions is one of the most fascinating theoretical developments I've heard in ages. Could you provide your class view of some other 'disorders'? How about schizophrenia? Tourette's? Asperger's? Please throw out a blanket class label for all them, I think you have a very discerning point there. Hopefully you say that in public sometime so someone with sense can beat your ass.

never met a poor person claiming to have fucking autism or aspbergers.

yeah there are plenty of poor schizo people running around out here.

butthurt??? ahahahahahahaha! fuck you.

I've never met anyone that wouldn't agree that you're a good ol fashion tard.

stay in california and go back to your vegan restaurants and whole foods.

well, i am autistic, however however however however never stop saying however because that would be a tangent.

the christian work ethic is the path for the long march to communism! onward comrades! work harder and you will be rewarded!

Jesus BJs for the whole commune! We'll all have angel-wings and hard-hats on.

The author risked his job to protect shoplifters (other poor people)--that's heroic, not immature. You, on the other hand, are immature.

You sound like slave morality as a person honestly.
Hating on everyone who doesn't like being a worker?
Letting opportunities for attack pass you by?

You're a fucking leftist with no antisocial tendancies.
1) ageism is fail
2) sabotage your workplace or stop hating on people who do.

I can't believe you didn't write 'infantile leftism'.

You're right, I shouldn't have said juvenile or immature, i should have said selfish and narcissistic. children usually help each other out if they have to do something shitty, because they still value other human beings.

kids wouldn't fuck over other kids.
selfish, capitalistic-minded faux-revolutionaries, though, apparently would.

you are a troll.

yeah, this person is a capitalist for damaging goods by writing on them, so they'll be thrown out and people who otherwise can't afford them can get them.

writing on shelves, etc... is what i meant. writing on goods so people can take them home as damaged is fine.

and writing stupid bullshit that is super vague and pointless is retarded. and when it is anti-capitalist, and then your co-worker has to clean it off, it's just breeding resentment toward dumb ass selfish autistic retard anti-capitalists.

having worked in grocery stores including Whole Foods myself, i know of what i speak.

nothing this person did is a big deal. i did that shit too, and more, only without the anti-social bullshit that made his co-workers have to do more work. and in ways that helped way more people.

yay i finally found a good christian brethren on this site after all those days of nothing but stupid, selfish, autistic, anti-social retards.

Did you get beat up by an autistic kid when you were young or something?

1. You've been backpedaling a lot. You dropped the ageism, most of your objections, and now you claim to do almost everything described in the post.

2. Quit blaming the victim. Don't help the bosses. Make their job harder. Don't blame your co-employees that do. Especially not in such an immature and self-righteous manner.

How is doing anti-social things bad when we're trying to destroy society?

because we need other people to be able to destroy society.

Ah okay. We don't destroy society so that we can destroy society. Makes perfect sense.

people =/= society.

you're right comrade, destroying society requires of us that we only do things that everybody is fine with

Not everyone, but at least those who might have similar material and social conditions that could lead to them being our comrades.

1) What actions aren't selfish?
2) How is this narcissistic?
3) Sometimes kids do fuck over other kids. Because they're people, not innocents or savages. Can you please cut down on the essentialist, ageist language?
4) In what way does this fuck over anyone other than security guards and bosses?

Yeah, grow the fuck up... get a job, a plastic house in some suburbia, wife and kids, pay your rent and taxes, and respect duh Laaauuu!

...sorry, I decided to skip these plans for "growing up". Got better things to do with my life, and yeah, that includes NOTHING. Coz it's still better than feeding the social order.

Furthermore... herd/slave mentality is THE immature thing, not breaking moral codes.

And as long as these employees don't own the merchandise and it's not some self-managed business, it IS fucking over the employer. Who owns is who we steal from. Period.

stealing from the employer is fine.

i was refering to specific points the author made: the dairy cooler shift thing, and the dumb graffiti thing.

that shit is lazy, selfish pseudo-rebellion for losers with no social skills too stupid to figure out how to out-smart this system and live without working some shitty job.

the rest was fine.
and totes, i wuz certainly sayin go 2 live in teh suburbz and be uh tool. totes. l2comprehension.

I dunno, sabotaging the speakers so you don't have to be bombarded with that shitty music? When I worked in retail I would have loved to have done that, most of my co-workers too.

not that, the part about trying to get out of doing the dairy cooler job (which means someone you work with has to do that shit.)

omg a revolutionary worker tried to get out of doing a job they dont like doing?! how will the almighty PRODUCTIVE PROCESS continue without their labor! damn hooligans! they must be dealt with! their laziness is doing nothing for the forward development of the productive forces!!!

furthermore, if one of their coworkers does it, then it is the one who refused to do it who is guilty. not the productive process (since this is undeniably crucial to the revolution) and not the boss, since it is only through the workers' organization that the boss can be removed and replaced with the delegated representative of the workers' organization. nor will i consider the possibility of what would happen if all of the workers refused to do the daily cooler job!

furthermore, all militant worker comrades must be morally pure, self-sacrificing, and never do that which is selfish! to do so is counterrevolutionary!

you moron, the author was BREAKING the dairy coolers, so no one could work on them. you're a moron.

"Everyone was expected to work at least one dairy shift a week; although I did my best to evade it,"


exactly what i was saying. good comprehension skillz you got there.

not what you /were/ saying, but what you will be saying if you continue on your current ideology and communism prevails.

Yep! If there's one thing that totally transfigures oppression on the workplace, it's that shitty commercial muzak, with all the dumb, under-educated radio hosts vomiting their stupidity in our ears.

When being forced to work under such conditions, to sabotage a speaker is indeed a truly liberating action.

Hahah, oh man, you must have made manager at Whole Foods, am I right? Because you sure as shit got the managerial outlook: "the workplace is a competition between workers." Is that it?

Luckily most workers don't buy that crap, which is why we're able to get along and be friends despite our loafing and shirking. Shit, that's actually the thing me and my friends at work bond over the most: how little we work. It's like a fucking competition among us. And sure, I'll still cuss my friend out all night long when he slacks off on his shift and the manager makes me do his job, but in the end I still know who the real enemy is (hint: it's you, you managerial prick), so we'll still be friends the next day and next time it'll be me that slacks and him that has to do the extra work. And all of it only makes us hate the bosses more, not each other.

actually i stole so much for myself and everyone i knew i got fired.

and i have also been the person stuck picking up the slack for dickheads that i worked with, and i had to do their work for them in order to keep my job for longer so i could continue funneling goods to my friends who were broke.

it made me hate my boss AND my co-workers. and i'd probably hate you too.

you sound like a really pleasant person to be around. I'm sure you really do have to carry the weight of the whole world all by yourself. Usually when people feel that way, it's totally the case!

These Capitalist bastards DO WANT to dump this mercy that doesn't sell, but it's a different kind of bastard, The local governments, who oppose it. Elected folks don't like the idea of jobless people encroaching in their cities and so discourage the Capitalists from leaving piles of uneaten, unused, unpaid for, shelf-worn, unglamorous FOOD just available for anyone--which they would otherwise gladly do.

Our enemies should include the not-yet-imprisoned Mayors and City Council people of all ages, stripes and backgrounds.

You're joking right? How do you define a capitalist? All capitalists(small c) acquire surplus because production and demand are centralised,(the municipal boundary minions are at the lower ranks of the capitalist hierarchy), and the expendability of any commodity likewise increases in proportion to its loss of value and its use by date, what a capitalist calls surplus.
What you are saying is that you are a capitalist loving moron, and your last sentence, lol, you were about to say 'colors', but within your feeble brain you swuddenly bequame correctivist and put 'backgrounds'! WTF!

Fuk the workerists!

i would NOT fuck a workerist.


Thanks for this nice to know an insider approach

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