"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."
— William Gibson.
The Problem of Suicide: You Are Not Alone
As the survivor of an arduous suicide attempt I've subsequently come to contemplate this subject a bit more than most. Throughout the years I've seen friends, family, and loved-ones take their own lives. Each time I hear of another suicide I am reminded not only of my own attempt, but also the attempts by those I've known. To be perfectly honest... my response is probably indicative of some PTSD. But I'm more than a decade removed from my major depressive episode and I feel that the subject of depression and suicide ought now be addressed.
It should be pointed out that suicide is now a leading cause of death in the United States. Amongst the young adults it ranks as the second or third leading cause of death (depending upon the specific age range examined). In other segments of populations around the world it is also a primary cause of death. Economic factors seem overtly connected with suicide in many nations. Certain professions have a higher rate of suicide than others. And, for U.S. soldiers, suicide has proven to be more deadly to them than combat. This problem of suicide could accurately be described as a public heath crisis or an epidemic.
While a variety of factors contribute to individual instances of suicide and the overall suicide rate, I believe that progressive radicals, anarchists, and social justice activists have somewhat unique psychological factors that can also come into play. Although they are probably just as likely to suffer from problems like social isolation or drug dependency, I believe that those who are informed about the myriad of crises that humanity currently faces are given an extra punctuation in terms of reasons to be dismayed. So, in addition to any personal problems they may have, they are also aware that the world seems to be going to hell in a proverbial handbasket. And while I personally believe that's a fairly accurate assessment of things, I don't advocate suicide as a response to this reality.
Life Under Siege
Particularly for younger radicals, as well as for younger people in general, I think the idea that things can suddenly and dramatically change is forsaken. Since they haven't experienced as much of life, it may not be as clear to younger people that situations can, and do, often change. The world is not static and, as terrible as things may be overall, or as bad any particular personal situation may be, it's bound to change -- even if we're just talking about gaining a different personal perspective on things. We are all bound for new experiences, new insights, and new ways of looking at things. And, in your darkest hour, it should be remembered that the next hour may serendipitously be your brightest. Life undoubtedly can be, and often is, a struggle. However, as a radical, as a person who has a conscience and is informed, it behooves us all if you keep up the struggle.
In a seeming paradox, life in nations under siege actually see suicide rates drop (WWII Britain, for example). And, if it might help you, perhaps you should consider that the entirety of the world today is somewhat under siege. I won't go into detail here again about the numerous problems that humanity collectively faces -- suffice it to say that there are serious problems in this world and each of us has our own thoughts about what needs to be changed and how that can happen. Life and truth and beauty are constantly under attack, and these are things worth fighting for -- things worth living for.
When a progressive radical commits suicide it's equivalent to a fascist putting another notch in his rifle. It is equivalent to the war machine rolling its tank treads over another freedom fighter. This, I hope, is reason enough for many to avoid death at their own hands.
Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down
As radicals, people are often subjected to mockery and derision. Expressing concerns about the state of the world can often lead to plain ridicule. This mockery and scorn can come from any number of sources -- friends, strangers, family, or the media. And this derision can be, without a doubt, depressing. But while some individuals should perhaps to be held accountable for their ignorant insensitivity, I'd suggest that this phenomena of callous ignorance is just a subtle part of the system's overall psychological warfare -- which it wages every day on every front.
The underlying nature of the system is to reduce empathy within the general population so that it can produce more mindless workers and consumers. It's subtle, but this is what allows modern society to continue down the unsustainable path that it is on. This is what allows bona fide psychopaths to attain the highest positions within the highest offices of the land -- be those governmental or business. The value-free attitude of a twisted post-modernism scoffs at sincere concerns about the world and it perpetuates more business as usual.
And make no mistake... whatever the cumulative cause, psychological testing does show that empathy levels in the United States have dropped dramatically. Young people today, in general, are actually less empathetic than they were a generation ago. One can only imagine the social and psychological difficulties that a truly concerned bright young person must have today when dealing with a growing number of sociopathic peers! But these decent young people need to be aware that the problem is not with them. The problem is really not even the fault of their cold-hearted peers -- the problem is with the system that creates and rewards sociopaths. This is what needs to be recognized and this is why good-hearted people should not give up. Merely the continued existence of thoughtful and intelligent people is a strike against the system -- and that is why they should persist in an effort to undermine that system.
For radicals though, the problem of persecution on a psychological level goes beyond just merely the day to day interactions with any numb or cold peers. Martin Luther King himself was famously sent a letter urging him to commit suicide. And although I don't specifically know how common this particular sort of tactic is... from personal experience I can tell you that such things still happen. When I was an outspoken young radical (with an overt tail) I had leaflets left on my doorstep promoting suicide "for the sake of the environment." And while I can't say for certain that this played a direct role in my own suicide attempt after the fact... it's possible that I may have missed similar psychological attacks directed towards me.
This also relates to government infiltration and surveillance. It is clear that infiltration of activist circles continues today (perhaps more commonly than ever). But what subtle psychological effects does this infiltration have upon people? Consider that you are likely to pick up on some level of insincerity amongst your peers. If you begin to tolerate insincerity, or dismiss it, you may come to consider it a relative norm. Or, on the other hand, you may avoid common social situations where you'll have to deal with insincere individuals. Either way... this is likely to have an negative effect on you. And consider that it's not just you who is being subjected to this but, also, other sincere individuals will be subjected to the same situation and may respond by altering their normally good-natured manner of associating with people.
In the 1960's some radical organizations had some of their meetings populated primarily by undercover agents. Now, 50 years later, I see little reason to doubt that this may still often be the case. In fact, the problem may be much more accute. Infiltration and surveillance works as a psychological attack upon progressive radicals. It's psychological warfare. Psy-ops.
I preceded this article with a quote from Willam Gibson, the dystopian science fiction writer, and I believe his quote has particular relevance to anarchists and other social justice advocates. If you fall into those categories, and if you are feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts, consider that this may be exactly what was intended for you... by design. And, so, then, you should rethink your position. If this sort of thing makes you feel paranoid, well, that may be for the best if it keeps you alive. Besides, being paranoid in this world may often be the sanest frame of mind to have. But is it really paranoia if they want you dead? And do you really think that the government and corporate interests never want any activists dead or that they don't work toward those very ends?
You Are Empowered To Live And Control Your Own Life
If your life has gone to shit and doesn't seem worth living... think again. You can actually be part of something bigger and better. You can change your personal life (habits, diet, "friends") and you can work toward being healthier and having a healthier world overall. Even simple changes in your life can alter your perspective and give you reason to live. Your depression may persist... but don't let it dominate you and control your life. I don't mean this all to sound like some hackneyed self-help cliche, but if that's what it takes to keep a few radicals alive... I don't care if that's how it sounds. There are simple truisms that remain true even if they are repeated a million times.
I don't want any more sincere and good-hearted people to kill themselves. And, at the rate which we are losing them, and at the rate which they are being outnumbered, the world can't afford to lose any more. If you are contemplating suicide... use your intellect to contemplate something else. You are in control of your own life, your own mind, and your own activities -- you can make a positive difference in this world by staying alive. Even if you've never met them... there are people in this world who want you to be happy and want you to live.

Comments
Why don't we talk about how
Why don't we talk about how shitty and catty anarchists are to other anarchists? That sounds fun.
There's that...Seriously,
There's that...Seriously, just to get up every morning we have to have some sort of extra human strength. Maybe making it an issue to not be the same brand of self important narcissistic asshole you find in any bourgeois white bred American metro would be a good place to start. Not that that's everyone, but its pretty bad. Groups. Groups. Were all scarred here. Spaces where we can talk about these things. Not bullshit workshops, groups. Again, figuring out how to make the damn accountability process work so that you're not insulated in a bubble of genuine nihilism.....
Yeah, I'm a platformist, so sue me.
I respect the writer's
I respect the writer's compassion, but this writing makes for arduous reading beginning with the phrase "arduous suicide attempt"(?) and all the awkwardness that follows.
I don't know, I thought it
I don't know, I thought it wasn't bad...
I've found that to a certain
I've found that to a certain extent, felt that I was being addressed. I'm going through a depression cycle that has taken out some of my enthusiasm in my life.
But there are limitations to the essay. Somebody who can't do much because they are either out on bail or probation find that there isn't as much as they can do, but at the same time, as it says, " if you are feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts, consider that this may be exactly what was intended for you... by design."
But it is still hard even knowing that is true. Even before I was radicalized, I found that this world was just making it hard for me to live. But then that is more reason to fight.
Part of this article was
Part of this article was inspired by a recent discussion about the role of undercover agents. Particularly, the role of those agents who suggest and facilitate dangerous illegal activities to people who are otherwise not terribly inclined or actually capable of carrying out such activities. Basically, I was arguing against entrapment -- but not merely because of the lives and families that such entrapment may ruin. I was suggesting that it might be unethical and dangerous because some of those people who are propositioned in this way may not immediately act upon the suggestions given to them by an undercover agent. Rather, they may take a step back, disengage, and then act alone later instead. At this point their activity would be entirely out of the agent's control but, as I see it, still partly the agent's fault.
We know people are being given dangerous ideas from undercover agents because it's been made clear that the FBI is responsible for the majority of terrorist plots in the United States. But what about the cases that aren't prosecuted along clear-cut lines -- the instances of terrorism that manifest long after the initial suggestions have been made? What about the individuals to whom agents suggest ideas but don't seem to get any bites from?
Can't you just see some undercover federal agent at a gun show (or at some militia meeting) trying to get Timothy McVeigh to involve himself with something horrible? Can't you just imagine the atrocious things that might have been suggested? Maybe an agent gave him his first copy of the Turner Diaries. Ah... but McVeigh might've thought better of it at the time. Maybe he thought he should just back away and give it some more consideration. Who knows? Maybe that's actually what happened. And it could be a similar story with any number of other American terrorists. I'm not excusing the actions of a diabolical mass murderer like McVeigh, but I am suggesting that people like him might sometimes get their ideas directly from government agents.
Sorry if this is a little off-topic in regard to the posted article, but I wanted to point out the many ways that undercover agents can ruin lives. They're not always just waiting for someone to slip up and say something flippant. They often readily practice what I'd consider to be dangerous psy-ops. They're not really into talking people off the proverbial ledge. Rather, they're leading people to the edge, encouraging them to jump, and then trying to prosecute them before they actually make the leap. And if a few of those people whom they've propositioned actually do something horrible later on... the department will just get more funding. Because, y'know, they've got to "fight" terrorism.
Bravo! You may feel off-topic
Bravo! You may feel off-topic, but man, this fits in with radical depression IMO just fine. I received a suggestion just the other day that I should use my weapons to go out there and change the world. Right away sir.......ROFLMAO and then getting up with a pissed off look.
i like this a lot - i think
i like this a lot - i think the best thing written by this guy
Every US military service
Every US military service person who commits suicide is a potential radical we couldn't reach in time.
Every radical that kills themselves takes with them the potential for the answer to change this miserable world.
In any case, if you're going to kill yourself, there is no honor in doing it quietly and out of sight. Make a statement with it. Tunisia sparked off after a self-immolation.
Also, that Gibson quote made my motherfuckin' morning.
This whole comment wreaks of
This whole comment wreaks of asshole-ism.
you meant "reeks". Although
you meant "reeks". Although wreaking asshole-ism is an interesting idea too.
Comment was hidden
i think more people need to
i think more people need to talk about depression and suicide in radical communities. havent we heard the "anti-authoritarian kids are perceived as fucked up" dialogue? i think the quote got to a better point than the article or any discussion...
i really think we need to start being more pro-active about this subject, at least try and get to depresssed young radicals before the bullshit doctors and incompitent, spoonfed parents. before they dope more of us...
I'm actually tired of the
I'm actually tired of the resistance being almost entirely composed of emotional and psychological wrecks. It makes for a shitty fighting force. I've got my past trauma all digested and integrated in to my sense of self and it means I don't go all to pieces when the pigs attack. I highly recommend you do the same because fighting the social war isn't going to help your mental health at all...
I know, I'm a dick but seriously! Imagine you're helping to organize a "fighting force", figurative or otherwise and you say to yourself -
"Ok, I want all our people to start shrieking about their PTSD as soon as we provoke that much more professional and better organized (albeit fascist) fighting force over there. Yeah, that one, with all that money and expensive equipment. Oh shit, here they come."
It's not, must be a
It's not, must be a perception you are having. I know a lot of very normal, stable anarchist. I feel well.
"I'm actually tired of the
"I'm actually tired of the resistance being almost entirely composed of emotional and psychological wrecks. It makes for a shitty fighting force."
Maybe it's because people who think of anarchism as a way to live out some weird Rambo fantasy where they're really some kind of underground, super secret, resistance force have something of a weak grasp on reality to begin with.
"I'm actually tired of people
"I'm actually tired of people who live under a fucked-up, alienating system being all fucked up and alienated. Where are all the people who are coping just fine with life under capitalism, but still want to get rid of it, despite it not actually fucking them up?"
Good luck with that.
Oh, and you do realise that actual, state-sponsored, professional and well-organised fighting forces, like the US army, are filled with people with mental health issues and people who take their own lives? You are aware of that, right? Like, literally more soldiers died from suicide than in combat in 2012: http://www.stripes.com/news/more-soldier-suicides-than-combat-deaths-in-...
But you actually think that you're going to create a revolutionary force of healthy, well-balanced people with no mental or emotional issues. Under capitalism. Fuck's sake.
Although I don't know how
Although I don't know how many of us are "emotional and psychological wrecks," the system has certainly traumatized many people in very deep and serious ways. We shouldn't ignore that fact and we should try to get get our people healthier all around. That's sort of the point of this article.
Some things to consider about
Some things to consider about depression in post-industrial capitalism that is in no way complete:
1.) School-
Humans require secure attachment with others. If adults can not provide this because they spend the majority of their time at work and the child spends their time at school, it follows that children with attach to the peer group. If the child is connected to peers more than parents, they will be influenced by those immature beings and thus be stuck in a state of arrested development. Children, through no fault of their own because developmentally their brains can't handle it, lack the emotional intelligence to exhibit the compassion and caring that adults are supposed to teach them, so in these peer groups there develops a myriad of social problems (i.e: bullying, inappropriate sexual acts, low self-esteem, active social exclusion, unhealthy social signifiers, drug addiction).
If society is constructed of these peer groups, with their immature and fickle attachments, what does that say about relationships between a majority of anarchists in america today? Another way to say that is, if group behavior is comprised of the same dynamics that were lived out in K-12 what chance is there for people straight out of high school (IMO many anarchists in the US are college age early 20-somethings) to be emotionally competent enough to be supporting caregivers to people coping with depression or suicidal thoughts?
2.) Abuse-
When the attachment bond between caregivers and children is violated through abuse it forces the child into developing an immediate coping technique that, if left unaddressed, will persist and grow into a full fledged disorder later in life. It follows that those who were traumatized have it harder than the rest; so how do those abused individuals get the support they need in social cliques that require they follow a huge laundry list of social codes in order for them to be accepted (and keep in mind these traumatized individuals react differently to social cues and customs)?
It is far to often the case in radical "communities" that when an individual starts exhibiting signs of depression or suicidal thoughts they are ostracized and rejected because people in the peer group lack the emotional skills to get that person the help they need.
My computer keeps erasing huge chunks of writing so instead of losing my mind retyping all of this over and over, I'm going to stop here. Fucking technology.
Here is a link talking more
Here is a link talking more about this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGmADfU5HGU
Authour's just trying to be
Authour's just trying to be helpful.
<.< This comment is addressed to people in a heavy depression atm.
I found out about the word "Anarchist" and the ideas connected to it when I hit 17 and was running out of excuses for the system I lived in. Just knowing about Anarchy and trying to participate held me through the successive waves of manic-depression for years after as I unloaded the crap thinking that set me up for bi-polar. If I hadn't found that 'out' (or been found by it) I would've continued to down-spiral looking for solutions in a contradictory system and undoubtedly committed suicide - as I nearly did several times thereafter as I worked through things. I'm now pretty stable and able to work daily on projects and actions. It's always two steps forward one step back in my life - but I've gone on long enough now that the step back isn't another wave of depression and anxiety. (I'm now 23.)
Part of the shit of depression is that even though there are 'easy' ways to alleviate things (exercise, diet, therapy, sleep schedules - provided you have some kind of safety/security in your life) there's very little impetus to do any of those things; like your brain literally can't think of any action or thought without touching on an overwhelming negativity that pushes you further down the hole. And since there's so much emphasis on how the system pervades and destroys, most solutions feel like capitulation and failure - and thus, not solutions, just adding to a pile of shit. Basically just beginning to think about anything makes things worse.
So for my comrades who feel completely hamstrung at every turn, who now only have the energy to read articles online and who's diet is probably only cigarette butts and stolen coffee for the last few days - yes there's a way out - yes it takes a while - and no you won't give up your radicalism when 'things get better.' I can't speak to the harder situations like being on the street or ethnic discrimination, I didn't quite get there, but I'm sure someone can speak to that.
I did a lot of junk to stabilize. I avoided thinking with words in my head for half a year so I wouldn't have to hear my own negative bullshit - I went through a few forms of therapy that helped ground my brain. I ignored my parents for a couple years and only talked to them on my terms. I found jobs with little hours that gave just enough pay and didn't suck too bad - and left them the moment they started to suck too much (picking up a few employers also shifted power, since I could afford to lose one of three jobs and could stick it to the boss.)
I shut out and avoided all dialogs/situations I couldn't handle without throwing up or burning a bridge (topics of rape, animal cruelty, bars with jackasses in them etc.) And I didn't do anything I was supposed to do, only stuff I enjoyed, no matter what "more struggleicious" things I could be doing or how lonely it could get being around people who think capitalism is a fact of the universe - I made friends around other interests instead.
I didn't quite drop out of the struggle but I didn't go looking for a fight either and still got some stuff done. I only compromised on my environment and relationships when the alternatives were too unpredictable. Basically I did whatever it took (including paying rent) to make myself a rose-coloured world - all with the knowledge that the more I stabilized the more I could actually help my comrades out and fight the good fight.
From there I've just slowly re-expanded my world as I'm able to handle and digest it. Identifying the core things that keep me in good spirits and getting better at keeping those things going and finding ways to connect them to the fight. It gets easier to focus and agitate each day. So yeah, my advice is to disconnect as much as possible from the stuff that triggers you and connect as much as possible to the stuff that sustains you and grow like a seed from there. It'll feel like you are giving up a lot - and for a while you will be - but you're doing it so you can get those things back in a way that doesn't destroy you and drive you back into depression; to a place where you can actually do something about it.
Hope this is useful. Please forgive any privileged snobbery I may have written but can't today detect; like I said, I'm still reclaiming a lot of the stuff I had to forget.
Zyn
Since i am not a nihilist
Since i am not a nihilist anarchist i am not as depressed as the author i guess (nihil Zero). Or anyway my life is not too bad as compared to people who have had it real hard such as those living under warfare or those who were raped by their parents or other things like that. By the end of this article it really started to sound to me like the author wanted to scare away people from becoming anarchists giving them an image of depressed people condemned to live under paranoia. To me this mindset seems not wise at all and only besides certain specific cases, frankly unrealistic. Depression can very well lead to innaction, passivity and resignation (conservative features) while paranoia to unawareness and insensitivity to creativity and resistance around you while you are only worried about the powers of society running after you which of course is not always the case.
no understanding of the
no understanding of the nihilisms...
Aye, silly author attempting
Aye, silly author attempting to actually think about these issues and discuss them properly. They should have just provided a dumb-ass one-paragraph comment about why depression and paranoia are bad, that'll definitely stop people being depressed and paranoid.
I was in slow-mo suicide for
I was in slow-mo suicide for a bit with the booze.
I like where this article is
I like where this article is going, though the vast majority of anarchists never committ suicide- they simply endure a lot of hardship. (we also enjoy life more thoroughly)
Three things that destroy anarchists:
1. The nuclear family- I would recommend reading books about narcissism in the nuclear family
2. pharmaceutical drugs damage the liver- this creates a range of long term health and mental health problems, 700,000 people die every year from pharmaceutical drugs
3. There is too much herd conformity in the anarchist communities
I like this article a lot, I
I like this article a lot, I think it is something which needs to be said - it is interesting to think about who becomes a 'radical' or who becomes 'political', and who doesn't - and within this population of people, what are the common traits, I think depression and suicide are certainly a high correlation -especially while growing up. It is a serious problem, and especially among the 'political', I wonder what the rate of suicides are which are pinpointed or explained as being causational of 'the fucked upness of the world and complete' and 'complete hopelessness' due laregly to external society pressures - well I am sure most of them, and in some ways, this makes suicide a highly politicised act. It is not a neutral act in a neutral society...
The psychological warfare is another great point, while infiltrations of radical groups I am sure happen all the time, I think when they do happen, at first they are rarely revealed to the public, they are seen as 'minor' issues - not systemic necessarily. But the real power comes from its psychological impact, not necessarily that it is happening to all political groups, even if it just happens to one, it is having a far more wider stretching impact than anyone can pinpoint.
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